Ok, Ok, it FINALLY happened! John got his permanent residency approved!!! This is so long in coming -- we are naturally overjoyed!
It took 4 Politicians. Go figure.
Yep. That part is finally done. We got down to the wire too. Our attorney abandoned us. John's work permit was about to expire. Finances were in turmoil and we had to come up with $180 to file for a renewal on the work permit because we still had not heard any news about the status of his permanent residence. Finally we got tough and contacted a local senator who in turn faxed 2 others on a federal level. Then, when we got even more impatient, I contacted yet another one. In the end it took a little more than a week for the government to get off their collective butts and give us a response. And joyfully it was favorable.
Now the next hurdle is to get John his gun license so he can start a new job that was offered to him as an armed guard. Suitable as he used to guard the crown jewels.
Finances are still a struggle. That's putting it mildly really. We'll overcome that as well. Now that we have a few more successes behind us we can go forward with a bit more confidence and hope that in the end we will have accomplished what we were told would never happen. Whew.
Well, it's off to work again, but I just had to get this written as it's time to move forward again... wish us luck in the next phase.
Always grateful for your comments and well wishes,
Buttercup
Monday, July 03, 2006
Sunday, January 29, 2006
Memphis Interview
We were in Memphis this week for the immigration interview that should have given John his permanent residency. We got someone who apparently is making it his life's work to put fear and uncertainty in couples like us who are just trying to do things legally and by the book. It was a hard trip.
We have to wait now. We will get a letter after this guy reviews our file (life) again to determine if he will be approved or denied. The interviewer went so far as to tell John that if he was denied, they would come pick him up and send him back to England. Naturally I was sitting there crying my eyes out at this guy's cold and heartless demeaner and the way he acted as if our life was in his hands and his alone. Needless to say, it was a long 10 hour drive home.
John was fine. Well, ok, he did try to put diesel in my car after pulling into a gas station on the wrong side of the pump and taking the keys out while it was still in drive...first time I ever saw him visibly shaken.
Just having to wait now.
Guess we will be getting something in the mail. An envelope. A letter. News from the government telling us if we will be allowed to continue to live together. Gotta love the government.
We have to wait now. We will get a letter after this guy reviews our file (life) again to determine if he will be approved or denied. The interviewer went so far as to tell John that if he was denied, they would come pick him up and send him back to England. Naturally I was sitting there crying my eyes out at this guy's cold and heartless demeaner and the way he acted as if our life was in his hands and his alone. Needless to say, it was a long 10 hour drive home.
John was fine. Well, ok, he did try to put diesel in my car after pulling into a gas station on the wrong side of the pump and taking the keys out while it was still in drive...first time I ever saw him visibly shaken.
Just having to wait now.
Guess we will be getting something in the mail. An envelope. A letter. News from the government telling us if we will be allowed to continue to live together. Gotta love the government.
Saturday, January 21, 2006
Take it as you Read it
You know, do we ever have any idea? Do you ever dream about your true love? Are you with your true love? They say you only live once, well let me ask you this. Do you live your life or do you just do the same thing day in day out? Is life a routine? Do you wake up thinking here we go? Do you live your life or do you just drag yourself through day to day? You could be that one that as you see it, love will never happen. Well let me ask you one last thing. What would you do if you found love, real love, the love you dream about, how far would you go? How easy would you find it to give up on it? (ok i know there was more than one question there) what I am trying to say is, how far would you go if you found love, plus if you did find it, would you realy go that far?
Well for me life and every day will never be the same. You may say "yes you are one of the lucky ones, that will never happen to me, no one will love me that much." Well what if you did, what if they loved you that much, WHAT WOULD YOU DO?
Well I will tell you. Yes I know it's not going to be easy, but in your dream didn't you say you would do anything for the love of your life??? (or did you not mean it) Yes I am one of the lucky ones and the reason is coz when I found my love, I mean my true love, nothing was going to stop me, and it didn't. Every day I wake up. Everyday is different, no day is the same. You know it, it's always if I could hold you, kiss you again. Well I don't think like that anymore. I think God I can't wait till the next time.
From day one, the every first time I talked to Buttercup, my heart has made a sound it had never made before. Iit was the sound of true love. It knew were it wanted to be. ALL I AM GOING TO SAY IS BUTTERCUP IS MY TRUE LOVE, NOTHING AND NOTHING, NO DAY WILL EVER BE THE SAME,I HAVE FOUND MY TRUE LOVE, MY HEART KNOWS WHERE IT BELONGS. EVERY DAY IS A NEW DAY.--------------------BUTTERCUP I LOVE YOU ALWAYS, MORE THAN YOU WILL EVER KNOW,I LOVE YOU FROM THIS MOMENT ON AND ALWAYS ALWAYS MORE XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Well for me life and every day will never be the same. You may say "yes you are one of the lucky ones, that will never happen to me, no one will love me that much." Well what if you did, what if they loved you that much, WHAT WOULD YOU DO?
Well I will tell you. Yes I know it's not going to be easy, but in your dream didn't you say you would do anything for the love of your life??? (or did you not mean it) Yes I am one of the lucky ones and the reason is coz when I found my love, I mean my true love, nothing was going to stop me, and it didn't. Every day I wake up. Everyday is different, no day is the same. You know it, it's always if I could hold you, kiss you again. Well I don't think like that anymore. I think God I can't wait till the next time.
From day one, the every first time I talked to Buttercup, my heart has made a sound it had never made before. Iit was the sound of true love. It knew were it wanted to be. ALL I AM GOING TO SAY IS BUTTERCUP IS MY TRUE LOVE, NOTHING AND NOTHING, NO DAY WILL EVER BE THE SAME,I HAVE FOUND MY TRUE LOVE, MY HEART KNOWS WHERE IT BELONGS. EVERY DAY IS A NEW DAY.--------------------BUTTERCUP I LOVE YOU ALWAYS, MORE THAN YOU WILL EVER KNOW,I LOVE YOU FROM THIS MOMENT ON AND ALWAYS ALWAYS MORE XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Sunday, January 15, 2006
Am I Acting Funny?
Well a lot of people have been asking me "what's up?" I keep saying "I am ok" but i don't think that is the truth. I think I am starting to get a bit worried, when you think of how far we have come and all we have been through, all the things we have to get over. It's all going to come down to some guy or woman that I don't even know or have ever met.
When you think it may not matter how we feel, it could all come down to someone in a bad mood or if they like you or not. Will they be able to see just how much we love each other, how we want to spend the rest of our lives together? I have even had it asked "Did you do it to get into the USA?" All that tells me is that they don't know me one bit.
I am a very proud Englishman. I was in the army and was in the first gulf war and was a guard for the royal family. After that I had a good job and my own home, loved being with my kids every day, playing with my grandkids. Plus I loved my dog Eric (he was more than a dog to me, he was a mate.) Then there are all my mates I had to leave. Keith was a great mate, miss him a lot. So the answer to it is no no no I didn't move here and do all this just to get into the USA. I would have moved to the North Pole if that is were Christine would had been from.
So maybe I am acting a bit funny, plus I am a bit worried. The thing is I LOVE HER and will do whatever it takes to be with her for the rest of my life.
So sorry if I am acting a bit funny Babe, it's just I am worried.
----------------
Buttercup's response:
Babe, I know... I know. But we did not come this far to lose it all so easily, whatever happens, as it has been this far, we will get over... we will not let go. You know my heart. You know my dreams and how they are impossible to achieve without you. You are my life now.. together we can do anything!
Don't worry honey, it's gonna be ok. We can do this. We WILL do this. They will see and understand as all our friends and family have seen. Think of how all our friends and family that have told each of us that they have never seen us so happy as when we are together. Strangers can see it, people in bad moods change their moods inspired by it.
I love you.
When you think it may not matter how we feel, it could all come down to someone in a bad mood or if they like you or not. Will they be able to see just how much we love each other, how we want to spend the rest of our lives together? I have even had it asked "Did you do it to get into the USA?" All that tells me is that they don't know me one bit.
I am a very proud Englishman. I was in the army and was in the first gulf war and was a guard for the royal family. After that I had a good job and my own home, loved being with my kids every day, playing with my grandkids. Plus I loved my dog Eric (he was more than a dog to me, he was a mate.) Then there are all my mates I had to leave. Keith was a great mate, miss him a lot. So the answer to it is no no no I didn't move here and do all this just to get into the USA. I would have moved to the North Pole if that is were Christine would had been from.
So maybe I am acting a bit funny, plus I am a bit worried. The thing is I LOVE HER and will do whatever it takes to be with her for the rest of my life.
So sorry if I am acting a bit funny Babe, it's just I am worried.
----------------
Buttercup's response:
Babe, I know... I know. But we did not come this far to lose it all so easily, whatever happens, as it has been this far, we will get over... we will not let go. You know my heart. You know my dreams and how they are impossible to achieve without you. You are my life now.. together we can do anything!
Don't worry honey, it's gonna be ok. We can do this. We WILL do this. They will see and understand as all our friends and family have seen. Think of how all our friends and family that have told each of us that they have never seen us so happy as when we are together. Strangers can see it, people in bad moods change their moods inspired by it.
I love you.
Friday, January 13, 2006
Wednesday, January 11, 2006
HOW THINGS ARE GOING
Well not had the time to write anything for some time(working most of the time). Well me and Buttercup are as strong as ever, I still wake up every day and look at her, think just how beautiful she is and just how much l love her. The love inside me just grows and grows, the love is like a wild white water river, rushing and flowing and never stops.
Well our xmas was great Carrie and the grandkids were here for 2 weeks,with Paul, all came over from England. First time Buttercup had met them all, they all got on great. Carrie also got to meet her new brothers and her new sister. It was so good to see them all getting on so well. Then came the time for them all to go back, yes before you all ask, yes, l did cry. l was doing so well until the grandkids started to cry, that did me in. The hurt inside me was just too much, I didn't want to let go of them and seeing Carrie trying to not cry too, well i just couldn't help it. Then the other day Buttercup found one of their toys, l had to go off and have a bit of a cry.
l know we still have a lot to get over, got the interview on the 25th jan. l will be glad when all that is over. lt's as if we are still under a cloud.W hen all that is over with then we can start to move on. lt's going to be a big thing for us, God, to just see how far we have come.
We know just how lucky we are, all the things we have had to do and all we have had to get over. l never in all my dream ever thought I would ever have anyone as wounderful and as beautiful as Buttercup. l still can't put it into words just how much l love her, she is the light of my life. l do want to spend the rest of my life with her. l don't even like going to work,l just want to spend every second, every moment with her. Her smile just lights me up. The warm in her heart, the way she holds me, the love inside me for her, lt's like time, it's never ending. lt will never end, it just grows and grows, gets stronger and stronger. She is my 8th wonder of the world, she is my world. Well l will try to write again soon.
Buttercup l love you more ;)))))))))))))) x x x x x x x x x x
Well our xmas was great Carrie and the grandkids were here for 2 weeks,with Paul, all came over from England. First time Buttercup had met them all, they all got on great. Carrie also got to meet her new brothers and her new sister. It was so good to see them all getting on so well. Then came the time for them all to go back, yes before you all ask, yes, l did cry. l was doing so well until the grandkids started to cry, that did me in. The hurt inside me was just too much, I didn't want to let go of them and seeing Carrie trying to not cry too, well i just couldn't help it. Then the other day Buttercup found one of their toys, l had to go off and have a bit of a cry.
l know we still have a lot to get over, got the interview on the 25th jan. l will be glad when all that is over. lt's as if we are still under a cloud.W hen all that is over with then we can start to move on. lt's going to be a big thing for us, God, to just see how far we have come.
We know just how lucky we are, all the things we have had to do and all we have had to get over. l never in all my dream ever thought I would ever have anyone as wounderful and as beautiful as Buttercup. l still can't put it into words just how much l love her, she is the light of my life. l do want to spend the rest of my life with her. l don't even like going to work,l just want to spend every second, every moment with her. Her smile just lights me up. The warm in her heart, the way she holds me, the love inside me for her, lt's like time, it's never ending. lt will never end, it just grows and grows, gets stronger and stronger. She is my 8th wonder of the world, she is my world. Well l will try to write again soon.
Buttercup l love you more ;)))))))))))))) x x x x x x x x x x
Monday, November 14, 2005
Update... it's been Soooo long I know, I know...
Well, just a quick update, we are still churning along. I say churning because the ups and downs just simply do not stop. One day to the next, an adventure of all sorts. Alice in Wonderland has NOTHING on us! hahaha..
Well we are scheduled to go to Memphis on January 25th for our "interview" with the government. Gee, you think they'll believe us when we tell them "Yes, we have been together and actually married and living together all this time... Oh, you want pictures???" and we send them to the last room meet site... See it HERE... yeahhhhhhhh they will see something there alright... hahahaha omg!!!!!
Well, all's well that keeps breathing I say! We are breathing still.. sometimes I admit, it seems we are surrounded by dumpsters, but hey! other times, we are in a field of wildflowers... beautiful...
Our friends have really encouraged us every step of the way. Friends from online, friends in the day-to-day real life. It helps. I guess it helps tremendously. Yeah.
I was talking to someone at work today. New job. He asked how I met John... omg what a question. He was so intrigued and having met John.. he just smiled and nodded his head... someone nearby overheard us talking about it and asked some questions... I remember telling her - yeah, he left everything he had in England. I think telling her that reminded me what a tremendous sacrifice he had made. She said "I could never do that"... and I thought to myself, yeah, most people wouldn't.
He did though.
We still struggle. Money problems mostly. ha! and they say the internet is evil! ...money problems... that's where the devil REALLY lives.
Well, I'm off to listen to some tunes... gonna walk around our apartment a bit and look at our pictures framed and placed all over the place. Reminisce a bit before he gets home.. he should be here shortly.
He's a treasure...
hugssssssss and xxxxxxxxxxxxx to you all.
Buttercup
Well we are scheduled to go to Memphis on January 25th for our "interview" with the government. Gee, you think they'll believe us when we tell them "Yes, we have been together and actually married and living together all this time... Oh, you want pictures???" and we send them to the last room meet site... See it HERE... yeahhhhhhhh they will see something there alright... hahahaha omg!!!!!
Well, all's well that keeps breathing I say! We are breathing still.. sometimes I admit, it seems we are surrounded by dumpsters, but hey! other times, we are in a field of wildflowers... beautiful...
Our friends have really encouraged us every step of the way. Friends from online, friends in the day-to-day real life. It helps. I guess it helps tremendously. Yeah.
I was talking to someone at work today. New job. He asked how I met John... omg what a question. He was so intrigued and having met John.. he just smiled and nodded his head... someone nearby overheard us talking about it and asked some questions... I remember telling her - yeah, he left everything he had in England. I think telling her that reminded me what a tremendous sacrifice he had made. She said "I could never do that"... and I thought to myself, yeah, most people wouldn't.
He did though.
We still struggle. Money problems mostly. ha! and they say the internet is evil! ...money problems... that's where the devil REALLY lives.
Well, I'm off to listen to some tunes... gonna walk around our apartment a bit and look at our pictures framed and placed all over the place. Reminisce a bit before he gets home.. he should be here shortly.
He's a treasure...
hugssssssss and xxxxxxxxxxxxx to you all.
Buttercup
Sunday, October 16, 2005
Thursday, September 15, 2005
So You Think You Want To Find Love Online?
Well, just wanted to update our progress. Happily, John is working full time now and lovin' it! He's working for a huge car dealership and while it does require he wear a tie everyday, he looks soooooooooooooo good, and is amazing at it! I feel like we have truly turned a corner and will soon be back on our feet financially which will take so much pressure off.
Hearing so many stories on the news of people who are awaiting their permanent status after a year or more is a bit frightening. We take so much for granted. ...and ignorance is not ALWAYS bliss. Especially when it costs you. Needless to say, we ask a lot of questions these days and keep our eyes peeled for news stories, articles, and other sources that mention anything to do with immigration.
I suppose the most incredible thing that has come out of all of this is still the fact that we keep waking up... looking at each other... and thinking "Oh My God! I LOVE YOU!" ... it is absolutely astounding to me to think that I spent so much of my life dreaming of a 'partnership' like this - always believing in the back of my mind that it HAD to be possible - and as the layers continue to come off and we see more and more of each other on a daily basis I can honestly (fighting tears here) without a doubt say that I have found the love of my life.
People still comment in the room about how awesome it is that we have met each other, and I can't agree more. But still, I would never ever recommend going into a chatroom to actually find the love of your life. I know, that's not fair for me to say in a way, but I can't help it. When I see all the failed attempts to recreate what John and I have found... the broken hearts... the dissallusion....the deception... it is like trying to find a real diamond in a vast field of crystals. The light can play on it, make the crystals appear to be the real thing, we all WANT that real diamond! So often we allow ourselves to believe we have it... clutched in our hands. Sometimes we don't even take a close look, knowing that we might see flaws that are easily seen with the naked eye.
The online thing is so strange sometimes. You have people coming in who are shy, afraid to speak, just watching. Others who have no fear because they know they are protected by their own screens, anonymous, and seemingly unreachable. Those are the ones who often prey on the rest, taking advantage of their naivity. Then there are those who come in, needing the conversation, just wanting to spend some time away from their own worries. They can share things online that perhaps their real lives don't allow them to share. It's an outlet... a very much needed one. There are angels in there, and devils, innocent bystanders, and souls with barely a thread of hope left, partiers, perverts, you name it. All in one place.. with different backgrounds and different agendas.
If you do not think about that when you go into a chat room you will be easy prey indeed. It takes time to get to know people, not a few hours, not a few days, not a few months... and when the people you are getting to know are 'behind' their monitors, you have to accept the fact that you are only really getting to know a few aspects of their whole personality. It's easy to be someone else. Very easy. Real life is so much harder.
Just keep that in mind if you are reading our blog and thinking you might like to find love online. It can happen. It DOES happen. A lot even. But don't think for a minute there is such a thing as 'love at first type'. It doesn't exist. You might find someone who shares your sense of humor, your level of compassion and intelligence, and perhaps not even be geographically challenged... but real love, will take a lot of dedication and certainty. That last bit, so important. The certainty. You gotta dig deep into your own feelings and refuse to ignore the warnings.
The most awesome thing you can do in a chatroom is to be open minded, friendly, forgiving, and realistic. Realize that people who visit chat rooms come in for a myriad of reasons and not everyone shares your point of view. Not everyone is looking for love.. or sex... or even simple fun. Some come in to vent, some come in to practice deception and to strike out at anyone for something that might have happened in their own lives. Just know that it's a place of many wonders.. it's highly (understatement of the year) addictive, and at times very dangerous.
Be careful... but don't be afraid to sit back and watch and learn and then contribute. You may be one of the lucky ones that goes in eyes wide open and manages to spot that rare and perfect diamond sitting there waiting just for you...
To close, let me just say this. I cannot believe how many people I have 'met' through that room. People who I think about on a daily basis, who are now a part of my life because I care about them, worry when they hurt, laugh with when they laugh, and long to hug in real life. You all know who you are, because I don't hold back hahahahahaha... right? I love you all, and feel so blessed to know you.
John, babe, you are my heart. I can't ever be apart from you now, my life is so in you, you have permeated my soul and remind me every day what true love is supposed to feel like - livin' it and lovin' it.
I love you John.
Christine aka Buttercup
XOXOXOXOXOX
Hearing so many stories on the news of people who are awaiting their permanent status after a year or more is a bit frightening. We take so much for granted. ...and ignorance is not ALWAYS bliss. Especially when it costs you. Needless to say, we ask a lot of questions these days and keep our eyes peeled for news stories, articles, and other sources that mention anything to do with immigration.
I suppose the most incredible thing that has come out of all of this is still the fact that we keep waking up... looking at each other... and thinking "Oh My God! I LOVE YOU!" ... it is absolutely astounding to me to think that I spent so much of my life dreaming of a 'partnership' like this - always believing in the back of my mind that it HAD to be possible - and as the layers continue to come off and we see more and more of each other on a daily basis I can honestly (fighting tears here) without a doubt say that I have found the love of my life.
People still comment in the room about how awesome it is that we have met each other, and I can't agree more. But still, I would never ever recommend going into a chatroom to actually find the love of your life. I know, that's not fair for me to say in a way, but I can't help it. When I see all the failed attempts to recreate what John and I have found... the broken hearts... the dissallusion....the deception... it is like trying to find a real diamond in a vast field of crystals. The light can play on it, make the crystals appear to be the real thing, we all WANT that real diamond! So often we allow ourselves to believe we have it... clutched in our hands. Sometimes we don't even take a close look, knowing that we might see flaws that are easily seen with the naked eye.
The online thing is so strange sometimes. You have people coming in who are shy, afraid to speak, just watching. Others who have no fear because they know they are protected by their own screens, anonymous, and seemingly unreachable. Those are the ones who often prey on the rest, taking advantage of their naivity. Then there are those who come in, needing the conversation, just wanting to spend some time away from their own worries. They can share things online that perhaps their real lives don't allow them to share. It's an outlet... a very much needed one. There are angels in there, and devils, innocent bystanders, and souls with barely a thread of hope left, partiers, perverts, you name it. All in one place.. with different backgrounds and different agendas.
If you do not think about that when you go into a chat room you will be easy prey indeed. It takes time to get to know people, not a few hours, not a few days, not a few months... and when the people you are getting to know are 'behind' their monitors, you have to accept the fact that you are only really getting to know a few aspects of their whole personality. It's easy to be someone else. Very easy. Real life is so much harder.
Just keep that in mind if you are reading our blog and thinking you might like to find love online. It can happen. It DOES happen. A lot even. But don't think for a minute there is such a thing as 'love at first type'. It doesn't exist. You might find someone who shares your sense of humor, your level of compassion and intelligence, and perhaps not even be geographically challenged... but real love, will take a lot of dedication and certainty. That last bit, so important. The certainty. You gotta dig deep into your own feelings and refuse to ignore the warnings.
The most awesome thing you can do in a chatroom is to be open minded, friendly, forgiving, and realistic. Realize that people who visit chat rooms come in for a myriad of reasons and not everyone shares your point of view. Not everyone is looking for love.. or sex... or even simple fun. Some come in to vent, some come in to practice deception and to strike out at anyone for something that might have happened in their own lives. Just know that it's a place of many wonders.. it's highly (understatement of the year) addictive, and at times very dangerous.
Be careful... but don't be afraid to sit back and watch and learn and then contribute. You may be one of the lucky ones that goes in eyes wide open and manages to spot that rare and perfect diamond sitting there waiting just for you...
To close, let me just say this. I cannot believe how many people I have 'met' through that room. People who I think about on a daily basis, who are now a part of my life because I care about them, worry when they hurt, laugh with when they laugh, and long to hug in real life. You all know who you are, because I don't hold back hahahahahaha... right? I love you all, and feel so blessed to know you.
John, babe, you are my heart. I can't ever be apart from you now, my life is so in you, you have permeated my soul and remind me every day what true love is supposed to feel like - livin' it and lovin' it.
I love you John.
Christine aka Buttercup
XOXOXOXOXOX
Thursday, July 14, 2005
At Last! ... Well OK, We're Not There Yet...
Funny how just when you think - At Last! ...something comes along to remind you that you haven't quite gotten there yet. The good news is that at least there is progress.
John (love of my life) has finally received his work authorization card and we did not have to drive the 6 hours to Memphis to get it! That truly is a blessing. We were so excited to have this phase finally coming together! But wait! Grrr... can't apply for the Social Security card until you have the work authorization card in hand and gee, wouldn't you know it, can't work until you have the social security number. Sighhhh...
Ok he has been so patient - he's a saint in that department I can tell ya! I don't know how he keeps his cool - most patient man on the planet I think. He watches me going around ranting and raving and panicking as those who know me well have seen me do many times... and yet, he manages to take me into his arms, hush me, and ensure me that everything will be alright. I feel so safe there. This man is transforming me into somebody I did not know I could be. This love container is sure to burst one of these days - can feel it welling up in me even now. Amazing the level of emotion we share.
Anyway, he has been volunteering his time, trying to make the days go by faster until he can work. He has had 3 interviews so far and has been offered all 3 jobs... they want him. But he has to have that damned social security number first. So he waits. Patiently. He even travelled the 3 miles to go down and donate blood after we saw an ad from the Red Cross saying how desperately they needed his blood type. He went in the rain, determined to do some good with his spare time. They turned him away. No social security number. Does that stink or what????? (holding back on the ranting and raving now)
I guess if you think about it, there are a lot of worse things people can go through... LOTS. I mean, all said, we have a love that I truly believe is something few will ever have and it saddens me to know that, but I think it's true. So few people are willing to honestly do what it takes to find that one person and then suffer whatever it takes to be with them. All that he's given away. All that he's left. The sacrifices we have both made in time, money, frustration and untold days and nights of absolute misery when we couldn't be together... all so worth it now.
Sometimes I just sit and look out the window at my office and think about how far we've come. It floors me. And how we forget when we are going about our daily things... laughin' together, cooking together, laying around in each others arms... yeah, it's a luxury, and we make the most of every minute we are together. We are very selfish with our time. We love friends that drop by, but often we steal glances each letting the other know that it would be so great to just run into the back and snuggle on the bed, watch a movie and fall asleep in each other's arms.
I love him.
When I think about how far we still have to go... well, it's getting easier to see the light now, I will admit that. We have to come up with a second car, insurance, financial restructuring (great way to say 'recover from a major financial loss'), and hopefully find a way to get a house and have a place so we can get the kids over from England at some point. We have lots of dreams to make come true and we are apparently determined enough to accomplish anything now. We are living proof.
Well Aaron, I promised you hon, I wrote.... sorry it took so long. Your dad just keeps me soooooooooooo occupied... lol... Love you, and your sisters, and will jump for joy when the day comes when I can finally tell you that in person while wrapping you up in a huge hug!
John, babe, my heart burns for you and I thank God everyday for bringing you to me and for waking up places in my soul that had gone to sleep in hopelessness.... you are what was always missing in my life and I will cherish you every day anew.
All my love,
Christine
XOXOXOXOXOX
aka Buttercup ;o)
John (love of my life) has finally received his work authorization card and we did not have to drive the 6 hours to Memphis to get it! That truly is a blessing. We were so excited to have this phase finally coming together! But wait! Grrr... can't apply for the Social Security card until you have the work authorization card in hand and gee, wouldn't you know it, can't work until you have the social security number. Sighhhh...
Ok he has been so patient - he's a saint in that department I can tell ya! I don't know how he keeps his cool - most patient man on the planet I think. He watches me going around ranting and raving and panicking as those who know me well have seen me do many times... and yet, he manages to take me into his arms, hush me, and ensure me that everything will be alright. I feel so safe there. This man is transforming me into somebody I did not know I could be. This love container is sure to burst one of these days - can feel it welling up in me even now. Amazing the level of emotion we share.
Anyway, he has been volunteering his time, trying to make the days go by faster until he can work. He has had 3 interviews so far and has been offered all 3 jobs... they want him. But he has to have that damned social security number first. So he waits. Patiently. He even travelled the 3 miles to go down and donate blood after we saw an ad from the Red Cross saying how desperately they needed his blood type. He went in the rain, determined to do some good with his spare time. They turned him away. No social security number. Does that stink or what????? (holding back on the ranting and raving now)
I guess if you think about it, there are a lot of worse things people can go through... LOTS. I mean, all said, we have a love that I truly believe is something few will ever have and it saddens me to know that, but I think it's true. So few people are willing to honestly do what it takes to find that one person and then suffer whatever it takes to be with them. All that he's given away. All that he's left. The sacrifices we have both made in time, money, frustration and untold days and nights of absolute misery when we couldn't be together... all so worth it now.
Sometimes I just sit and look out the window at my office and think about how far we've come. It floors me. And how we forget when we are going about our daily things... laughin' together, cooking together, laying around in each others arms... yeah, it's a luxury, and we make the most of every minute we are together. We are very selfish with our time. We love friends that drop by, but often we steal glances each letting the other know that it would be so great to just run into the back and snuggle on the bed, watch a movie and fall asleep in each other's arms.
I love him.
When I think about how far we still have to go... well, it's getting easier to see the light now, I will admit that. We have to come up with a second car, insurance, financial restructuring (great way to say 'recover from a major financial loss'), and hopefully find a way to get a house and have a place so we can get the kids over from England at some point. We have lots of dreams to make come true and we are apparently determined enough to accomplish anything now. We are living proof.
Well Aaron, I promised you hon, I wrote.... sorry it took so long. Your dad just keeps me soooooooooooo occupied... lol... Love you, and your sisters, and will jump for joy when the day comes when I can finally tell you that in person while wrapping you up in a huge hug!
John, babe, my heart burns for you and I thank God everyday for bringing you to me and for waking up places in my soul that had gone to sleep in hopelessness.... you are what was always missing in my life and I will cherish you every day anew.
All my love,
Christine
XOXOXOXOXOX
aka Buttercup ;o)
Sunday, July 10, 2005
The Ups and Downs
Well not been on for some time. The good news is I have my Employment card. Plus I have have been offered a job, as a car salesman. Looking forward to it. Never done it before. Always trying something new. The down to it all is to do with the paper work. Can't work now till I get my social security number. Just hope it will not take long.
Well like the heading says the ups and downs, just seem's everytime we think we are getting there, something pulls us right down again. We know we are getting closer and closer to what we want. Just would be wonderful to get a up without the down. God, wouldn't that be nice.
The other down is just knowing, how far away my kid's are. When you just want to hold them and let them know just how much you miss them. I know my son could do with me there right now, misses his dad. I was not just his dad, we are mates too, close mates. Plus knowing he is not happy, hurts me more than he knows. Times like this all you want to do is hold him and just let him know how much he is loved, to be there and just pick him up when he feels down.
I know all my kids know how much I miss them and love them. Plus all the mum's and dad's will know what I mean, when I say "If your kids are 1 or 61, they are still your babies. Me and Buttercup, would have all the kids in a shot if we could.
When you think of just how far me and Buttercup have come, after all we have to get over, all we are waiting for now is one slip of paper. That one bit of paper is all that is holding us up now, as soon as we get that, we can live our lives the way we want. One of our dreams is to have all the kids together for a few weeks, we are getting there and we WILL get there...............John
Well like the heading says the ups and downs, just seem's everytime we think we are getting there, something pulls us right down again. We know we are getting closer and closer to what we want. Just would be wonderful to get a up without the down. God, wouldn't that be nice.
The other down is just knowing, how far away my kid's are. When you just want to hold them and let them know just how much you miss them. I know my son could do with me there right now, misses his dad. I was not just his dad, we are mates too, close mates. Plus knowing he is not happy, hurts me more than he knows. Times like this all you want to do is hold him and just let him know how much he is loved, to be there and just pick him up when he feels down.
I know all my kids know how much I miss them and love them. Plus all the mum's and dad's will know what I mean, when I say "If your kids are 1 or 61, they are still your babies. Me and Buttercup, would have all the kids in a shot if we could.
When you think of just how far me and Buttercup have come, after all we have to get over, all we are waiting for now is one slip of paper. That one bit of paper is all that is holding us up now, as soon as we get that, we can live our lives the way we want. One of our dreams is to have all the kids together for a few weeks, we are getting there and we WILL get there...............John
Wednesday, May 25, 2005
Stronger and Stronger
Well have not done a post for a bit. Have been busy, trying to work out a few things, to get what Buttercup and I want, seems to get harder and harder. Money is the big one, didn't think is was going to take this long, to get the papers so I could work, this puts a lot on to Buttercup. I can't leave the USA, plus I can't work without the papers. Yet people just seem to take their time, with what we need. The USA, will let some people work over here without the right papers and do nothing about it. There are people here working, driving and living without all the right papers, even killing and nothing is done, yet to try to do it the right way, all they do is mess you about and take their time with the paper work.
The USA government are just like any other government, laid back and tell you all the things you have to do and when they want them done by, then just leave you waiting, there is nothing you can do, to make it go faster.
The one thing is, the love Buttercup and I have just gets stronger and stronger. We try to take every day as it comes. I know the government try all they can to put you off, trying to make sure that what you have is true, not just doing it to get into the USA. I also know that a lot of things changed after 9/11, which it did all over the world, more in the USA and England. I was in the first Gulf war. You think that it would make it a bit easier, well no it does not. I just don't understand how someone can get in the USA without papers, work and live for years and never get found out. The USA government knows it is going on and do nothing about it, it's as if some people in the USA want it, lower wages and all that. Then when you try to do it all the right way, its like they say "ok, now we have all the paperwork off you and you have done all we have asked you to do, just go over in than corner and we will call you" what they don't tell you is just how long they are going to leave you waiting.
Well I just know that the love Buttercup and I have will get us over all this. When we do, we can live the life we both want, all that we are going though, will just makes us stonger and stronger, nothing will pull us apart, whatever they do. We will grow old with each other and be loved and be happy :)))))))))))))).........John
The USA government are just like any other government, laid back and tell you all the things you have to do and when they want them done by, then just leave you waiting, there is nothing you can do, to make it go faster.
The one thing is, the love Buttercup and I have just gets stronger and stronger. We try to take every day as it comes. I know the government try all they can to put you off, trying to make sure that what you have is true, not just doing it to get into the USA. I also know that a lot of things changed after 9/11, which it did all over the world, more in the USA and England. I was in the first Gulf war. You think that it would make it a bit easier, well no it does not. I just don't understand how someone can get in the USA without papers, work and live for years and never get found out. The USA government knows it is going on and do nothing about it, it's as if some people in the USA want it, lower wages and all that. Then when you try to do it all the right way, its like they say "ok, now we have all the paperwork off you and you have done all we have asked you to do, just go over in than corner and we will call you" what they don't tell you is just how long they are going to leave you waiting.
Well I just know that the love Buttercup and I have will get us over all this. When we do, we can live the life we both want, all that we are going though, will just makes us stonger and stronger, nothing will pull us apart, whatever they do. We will grow old with each other and be loved and be happy :)))))))))))))).........John
Tuesday, May 17, 2005
A Book
Well sat here, thinking if we could make all this into a book. Not that I am very good at writing, then the spellings, well think Buttercup will get me over that hurdle. Plus where would we start it? I just know what we have is so very special in every way and think it would be nice to share it, we have had to get over so many things and still have a few left to get over.
When I think of the times before I met her, how down I would be, how inside me I knew something was missing, oh I did what everyone does at the time, telling myself" things will get better" but as we know they never did. Plus how did I know they would get worse and they did, when I think of how low I got. Then after the very first time I talked to Buttercup online, I knew from then on, she was the one. Its no good asking me how I knew, I just did. She was my soul mate and I knew it, the fact she lived in the USA and I was in England, was not going to stop me, letting her know, just want she meant to me. I knew there was going to be lots of ups and downs, oh yes I know I could have got hurt, plus I know I was going to have to leave my kids behind. That is one hurdle that was going to hurt, I miss them every day, the hugs and loving, but I know deep down I am where I belong, plus I know my kids know that too and they are happy for me.
So how do you put all your feelings in to words? so it makes a book. I think it would make a great book, as its real life, none of it is made up, if you have looked at any of the other things we have written, you can see its from the heart. I just want the world to see, just how much in love we are, plus to give others hope.
Even now trying to think of how to put this into a book, just looking at my wedding ring, she's my wife, God, she's my wife. how happy that makes me feel, now how do I put that into words? Plus how to put into words how she makes me feel from the moment I get up to the moment I go to bed, how cuddling or just holding hands, how it just all fits, like we made for each other. Like how when we are cuddling, just never want it to stop, just want to spend my life cuddling Buttercup, when we cuddle, its as if the hole world is right. When I am with Buttercup my whole world is safe, I have someone that's loves me in every way I love her and more.
Well now you all know that we are thinking of making it into a book.......John
When I think of the times before I met her, how down I would be, how inside me I knew something was missing, oh I did what everyone does at the time, telling myself" things will get better" but as we know they never did. Plus how did I know they would get worse and they did, when I think of how low I got. Then after the very first time I talked to Buttercup online, I knew from then on, she was the one. Its no good asking me how I knew, I just did. She was my soul mate and I knew it, the fact she lived in the USA and I was in England, was not going to stop me, letting her know, just want she meant to me. I knew there was going to be lots of ups and downs, oh yes I know I could have got hurt, plus I know I was going to have to leave my kids behind. That is one hurdle that was going to hurt, I miss them every day, the hugs and loving, but I know deep down I am where I belong, plus I know my kids know that too and they are happy for me.
So how do you put all your feelings in to words? so it makes a book. I think it would make a great book, as its real life, none of it is made up, if you have looked at any of the other things we have written, you can see its from the heart. I just want the world to see, just how much in love we are, plus to give others hope.
Even now trying to think of how to put this into a book, just looking at my wedding ring, she's my wife, God, she's my wife. how happy that makes me feel, now how do I put that into words? Plus how to put into words how she makes me feel from the moment I get up to the moment I go to bed, how cuddling or just holding hands, how it just all fits, like we made for each other. Like how when we are cuddling, just never want it to stop, just want to spend my life cuddling Buttercup, when we cuddle, its as if the hole world is right. When I am with Buttercup my whole world is safe, I have someone that's loves me in every way I love her and more.
Well now you all know that we are thinking of making it into a book.......John
Thursday, May 12, 2005
Amazed at the Feedback
I gotta tell ya... I am amazed. Now I was expecting some feedback. I was expecting positive stuff mixed in with a lot of negative, but man oh man, I had no idea what a response we would get from blogging our lives and what we are going through having met online.
The outpouring of support is truly inspiring. Times can be so hard for us and most of it stems from the very fact that we DID meet online. The part about coming from different countries is hard enough, but it's the criticism that we sometimes get in the 'real world' (and I use that term loosely) that really wears us down. It appears that people who have spent any time online at all can appreciate the dynamics of the 'online world' and recognize the real accomplishments we have made.
Bottom line - I am tickled pink. I never really knew how many people would wish us well and take the time to comment or leave a message for us in our guestbook. It just amazes me. So much bad in the world and then you get this humongous ray of sunshine that comes from a place that so many who don't understand it call dark and dangerous. The fools. I won't go into that right now, but I love to argue with someone who calls the internet evil. lol...
John and I are still struggling, but we are being carried on the wings of those who care enough to recognize our struggles, sympathize with us, cheer us on, and take our message to others who don't believe that what we have is truly possible.
John, I love you babe, and I believe what we have will stand the test of time. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Buttercup
The outpouring of support is truly inspiring. Times can be so hard for us and most of it stems from the very fact that we DID meet online. The part about coming from different countries is hard enough, but it's the criticism that we sometimes get in the 'real world' (and I use that term loosely) that really wears us down. It appears that people who have spent any time online at all can appreciate the dynamics of the 'online world' and recognize the real accomplishments we have made.
Bottom line - I am tickled pink. I never really knew how many people would wish us well and take the time to comment or leave a message for us in our guestbook. It just amazes me. So much bad in the world and then you get this humongous ray of sunshine that comes from a place that so many who don't understand it call dark and dangerous. The fools. I won't go into that right now, but I love to argue with someone who calls the internet evil. lol...
John and I are still struggling, but we are being carried on the wings of those who care enough to recognize our struggles, sympathize with us, cheer us on, and take our message to others who don't believe that what we have is truly possible.
John, I love you babe, and I believe what we have will stand the test of time. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Buttercup
Sunday, May 08, 2005
There is always hope
This is to the ones that think there is nothing out there. I have been there, thinking I was a failure, that I was going to grow old on my own. The times I sat there thinking who would want me, why would anyone want me? Plus I have seen people thinking everyone they meet is the one. The one thing I have found out about love is it finds YOU. Thats the beautiful thing about love, it creeps up on you and covers you. I do wish everyone in the world could find real love, but the world is not that fair.
As we all know finding Mr or Mrs Right is hard. I also think that many of us have given someone all the love, only to find out it was all one way. I think that is one thing that people never forget. The being taken in and the hurt. ( just laughing here, song just came on, one of mine and Buttercup's song Inside out, hahahahahahaha)
The thing is with on line, which Buttercup has said in one of her blogs "you can be who ever you want and no one knows" That is so truth. Going on line to find someone, is not a good thing to do, I'm not saying it a bad thing to go on line, just be careful. I think to find a relationship on line is very hard thing to do. When you think that they could be on the other side of the world, you can't just get on a bus to go and see them, I should know.
I think a lot of people try to hard to find love, just let it find you. You never know where it going to come from, it could be someone down the street, someone at work or someone on the other side of the world, may even be someone you all ready know. What you do have to do is love yourself first, once you love you, then you have a chance of someone else loving you. The best thing is not to rush anything, just take every day as it comes. If you do meet someone or start to talk to someone, just take your time, get to know them, the real them, the worst thing you can do, is think its Mr or Mrs right. A lot of people go on line to get away from the world they are in, plus a lot of people are not who they seem, never forget that. Just remember when you meet someone on line its not like meeting someone in a bar.
The big thing you after remember is you are not alone, millions of people are in the same boat as you, sometimes one or two of us get thrown a life jacket, without any holes in it, well Buttercup is my life jacket. She pulled me up and covers me with love, a love I didn't know could be real. I'm sure there is someone out there for everyone, we just have to learn to take our time, just look at how many things we miss in life when we rush. Like I have said "if you want someone to love you, you after love you first" Just never give up on hope.........John
As we all know finding Mr or Mrs Right is hard. I also think that many of us have given someone all the love, only to find out it was all one way. I think that is one thing that people never forget. The being taken in and the hurt. ( just laughing here, song just came on, one of mine and Buttercup's song Inside out, hahahahahahaha)
The thing is with on line, which Buttercup has said in one of her blogs "you can be who ever you want and no one knows" That is so truth. Going on line to find someone, is not a good thing to do, I'm not saying it a bad thing to go on line, just be careful. I think to find a relationship on line is very hard thing to do. When you think that they could be on the other side of the world, you can't just get on a bus to go and see them, I should know.
I think a lot of people try to hard to find love, just let it find you. You never know where it going to come from, it could be someone down the street, someone at work or someone on the other side of the world, may even be someone you all ready know. What you do have to do is love yourself first, once you love you, then you have a chance of someone else loving you. The best thing is not to rush anything, just take every day as it comes. If you do meet someone or start to talk to someone, just take your time, get to know them, the real them, the worst thing you can do, is think its Mr or Mrs right. A lot of people go on line to get away from the world they are in, plus a lot of people are not who they seem, never forget that. Just remember when you meet someone on line its not like meeting someone in a bar.
The big thing you after remember is you are not alone, millions of people are in the same boat as you, sometimes one or two of us get thrown a life jacket, without any holes in it, well Buttercup is my life jacket. She pulled me up and covers me with love, a love I didn't know could be real. I'm sure there is someone out there for everyone, we just have to learn to take our time, just look at how many things we miss in life when we rush. Like I have said "if you want someone to love you, you after love you first" Just never give up on hope.........John
Thursday, May 05, 2005
44 Today!
Well as you can see from the heading, its my birthday today. The day has got off to a great start, as Buttercup`s first day at her new job. The day has been great so far, Buttercup was leaving me cards all over the place, messages on MSN and yahoo. The best thing of all was waking up and being kissed by her, that made my day. Just to think of how far we have come, still have a lot to do.
The last week or so, me and Buttercup have had so much time with each other, got to a point last night, we need something from the shop. Buttercup was going to go on her own, we just looked at each other and we both went, hahahahahahaha. The more time we have with each other, the more time we want, we can't get enough.
I know people will think. People will say "well you two are in your first years" or "its all new" All I can say to that is this is real love. Its more than that, it's knowing you have your soul mate. When I think of how many things we have had to get over, the hurt we have had, its not been easy for us. We just never give up on what we have, even at times in the beginning. When we both thought it couldn't work or we couldn't love each other that much. We always came back to each other. When I think of the times I was back in England, I never at any time gave up on us.
I think the guys will know what I mean when I say this "now I am with Buttercup, I never think of looking at another woman. She's never off my mind at any time. I feel complete. She was the missing link in my life." Just hope that sounds the way it was meant.
What I am trying to say is "that she is my dream woman, my life and my soul, my mind and heart and soul are at peace, they are where they belong and that's with Buttercup" God I am in love with Buttercup more than anyone can dream of, Buttercup to you, I love you more than words can say, but I will every day try to show you and try to make every day a special one............... John xxxxxx
The last week or so, me and Buttercup have had so much time with each other, got to a point last night, we need something from the shop. Buttercup was going to go on her own, we just looked at each other and we both went, hahahahahahaha. The more time we have with each other, the more time we want, we can't get enough.
I know people will think. People will say "well you two are in your first years" or "its all new" All I can say to that is this is real love. Its more than that, it's knowing you have your soul mate. When I think of how many things we have had to get over, the hurt we have had, its not been easy for us. We just never give up on what we have, even at times in the beginning. When we both thought it couldn't work or we couldn't love each other that much. We always came back to each other. When I think of the times I was back in England, I never at any time gave up on us.
I think the guys will know what I mean when I say this "now I am with Buttercup, I never think of looking at another woman. She's never off my mind at any time. I feel complete. She was the missing link in my life." Just hope that sounds the way it was meant.
What I am trying to say is "that she is my dream woman, my life and my soul, my mind and heart and soul are at peace, they are where they belong and that's with Buttercup" God I am in love with Buttercup more than anyone can dream of, Buttercup to you, I love you more than words can say, but I will every day try to show you and try to make every day a special one............... John xxxxxx
Tuesday, April 19, 2005
Progress IS being made... One Step At A Time!
Well, time is moving along and while it's still a waiting game, we ARE making progress!
John is working on getting established through soccer, driving, and getting to know his new neighbors...
We are still waiting for news on the work permit, and all sorts of other paperwork, but it'll happen!
While we wait, we are learning about selling on E-Bay, making our home perfect for the kids, looking forward to visits from England, and well, just taking advantage of every minute we have together.
We've made lots of friends and are constantly amazed at the others we have met here locally who have either met someone online or know someone close to them who is another example of online success! A very positive and encouraging thing.
It's been a while since I've written, but then, when you are having so much fun just living your life, it's hard to stop and sit long enough to do this... but I'll try to get better at it. I think it's important to let others know that life can come to you in so many incredible ways, and for us, this has been the life we have always wanted... He's what I've always wanted and when we are finally all settled in (does that ever really happen???) I know we will look back on these days and just smile... well, we'll fall down laughing and end up...oh hahahaha.... never mind....
Keep the faith...
Loving him,
Buttercup
John is working on getting established through soccer, driving, and getting to know his new neighbors...
We are still waiting for news on the work permit, and all sorts of other paperwork, but it'll happen!
While we wait, we are learning about selling on E-Bay, making our home perfect for the kids, looking forward to visits from England, and well, just taking advantage of every minute we have together.
We've made lots of friends and are constantly amazed at the others we have met here locally who have either met someone online or know someone close to them who is another example of online success! A very positive and encouraging thing.
It's been a while since I've written, but then, when you are having so much fun just living your life, it's hard to stop and sit long enough to do this... but I'll try to get better at it. I think it's important to let others know that life can come to you in so many incredible ways, and for us, this has been the life we have always wanted... He's what I've always wanted and when we are finally all settled in (does that ever really happen???) I know we will look back on these days and just smile... well, we'll fall down laughing and end up...oh hahahaha.... never mind....
Keep the faith...
Loving him,
Buttercup
A New Emblem for England?
Joseph and his Valentine Dog, of course there is also the newest addition to my car...lol...
We got this at the mall, the license plate that is... lol...
Now it sits at the back of my car... and in the window... alongside his white cowboy hat and my red one...
We are working on getting everything changed over to my new name now... gotta love it. So many things to do, always busy here. I guess that's a good thing.
Spring has sprung and the weather is allowing us to enjoy the beauty of this part of the country... I have the sunburned arms to prove it!
Between soccer games, walks in the park, just driving around.. it's all good.
Livin' and lovin' it...
Buttercup
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