Zonker, Foghorn and SirJOHN
Sunday, October 16, 2005
Thursday, September 15, 2005
So You Think You Want To Find Love Online?
Well, just wanted to update our progress. Happily, John is working full time now and lovin' it! He's working for a huge car dealership and while it does require he wear a tie everyday, he looks soooooooooooooo good, and is amazing at it! I feel like we have truly turned a corner and will soon be back on our feet financially which will take so much pressure off.
Hearing so many stories on the news of people who are awaiting their permanent status after a year or more is a bit frightening. We take so much for granted. ...and ignorance is not ALWAYS bliss. Especially when it costs you. Needless to say, we ask a lot of questions these days and keep our eyes peeled for news stories, articles, and other sources that mention anything to do with immigration.
I suppose the most incredible thing that has come out of all of this is still the fact that we keep waking up... looking at each other... and thinking "Oh My God! I LOVE YOU!" ... it is absolutely astounding to me to think that I spent so much of my life dreaming of a 'partnership' like this - always believing in the back of my mind that it HAD to be possible - and as the layers continue to come off and we see more and more of each other on a daily basis I can honestly (fighting tears here) without a doubt say that I have found the love of my life.
People still comment in the room about how awesome it is that we have met each other, and I can't agree more. But still, I would never ever recommend going into a chatroom to actually find the love of your life. I know, that's not fair for me to say in a way, but I can't help it. When I see all the failed attempts to recreate what John and I have found... the broken hearts... the dissallusion....the deception... it is like trying to find a real diamond in a vast field of crystals. The light can play on it, make the crystals appear to be the real thing, we all WANT that real diamond! So often we allow ourselves to believe we have it... clutched in our hands. Sometimes we don't even take a close look, knowing that we might see flaws that are easily seen with the naked eye.
The online thing is so strange sometimes. You have people coming in who are shy, afraid to speak, just watching. Others who have no fear because they know they are protected by their own screens, anonymous, and seemingly unreachable. Those are the ones who often prey on the rest, taking advantage of their naivity. Then there are those who come in, needing the conversation, just wanting to spend some time away from their own worries. They can share things online that perhaps their real lives don't allow them to share. It's an outlet... a very much needed one. There are angels in there, and devils, innocent bystanders, and souls with barely a thread of hope left, partiers, perverts, you name it. All in one place.. with different backgrounds and different agendas.
If you do not think about that when you go into a chat room you will be easy prey indeed. It takes time to get to know people, not a few hours, not a few days, not a few months... and when the people you are getting to know are 'behind' their monitors, you have to accept the fact that you are only really getting to know a few aspects of their whole personality. It's easy to be someone else. Very easy. Real life is so much harder.
Just keep that in mind if you are reading our blog and thinking you might like to find love online. It can happen. It DOES happen. A lot even. But don't think for a minute there is such a thing as 'love at first type'. It doesn't exist. You might find someone who shares your sense of humor, your level of compassion and intelligence, and perhaps not even be geographically challenged... but real love, will take a lot of dedication and certainty. That last bit, so important. The certainty. You gotta dig deep into your own feelings and refuse to ignore the warnings.
The most awesome thing you can do in a chatroom is to be open minded, friendly, forgiving, and realistic. Realize that people who visit chat rooms come in for a myriad of reasons and not everyone shares your point of view. Not everyone is looking for love.. or sex... or even simple fun. Some come in to vent, some come in to practice deception and to strike out at anyone for something that might have happened in their own lives. Just know that it's a place of many wonders.. it's highly (understatement of the year) addictive, and at times very dangerous.
Be careful... but don't be afraid to sit back and watch and learn and then contribute. You may be one of the lucky ones that goes in eyes wide open and manages to spot that rare and perfect diamond sitting there waiting just for you...
To close, let me just say this. I cannot believe how many people I have 'met' through that room. People who I think about on a daily basis, who are now a part of my life because I care about them, worry when they hurt, laugh with when they laugh, and long to hug in real life. You all know who you are, because I don't hold back hahahahahaha... right? I love you all, and feel so blessed to know you.
John, babe, you are my heart. I can't ever be apart from you now, my life is so in you, you have permeated my soul and remind me every day what true love is supposed to feel like - livin' it and lovin' it.
I love you John.
Christine aka Buttercup
XOXOXOXOXOX
Hearing so many stories on the news of people who are awaiting their permanent status after a year or more is a bit frightening. We take so much for granted. ...and ignorance is not ALWAYS bliss. Especially when it costs you. Needless to say, we ask a lot of questions these days and keep our eyes peeled for news stories, articles, and other sources that mention anything to do with immigration.
I suppose the most incredible thing that has come out of all of this is still the fact that we keep waking up... looking at each other... and thinking "Oh My God! I LOVE YOU!" ... it is absolutely astounding to me to think that I spent so much of my life dreaming of a 'partnership' like this - always believing in the back of my mind that it HAD to be possible - and as the layers continue to come off and we see more and more of each other on a daily basis I can honestly (fighting tears here) without a doubt say that I have found the love of my life.
People still comment in the room about how awesome it is that we have met each other, and I can't agree more. But still, I would never ever recommend going into a chatroom to actually find the love of your life. I know, that's not fair for me to say in a way, but I can't help it. When I see all the failed attempts to recreate what John and I have found... the broken hearts... the dissallusion....the deception... it is like trying to find a real diamond in a vast field of crystals. The light can play on it, make the crystals appear to be the real thing, we all WANT that real diamond! So often we allow ourselves to believe we have it... clutched in our hands. Sometimes we don't even take a close look, knowing that we might see flaws that are easily seen with the naked eye.
The online thing is so strange sometimes. You have people coming in who are shy, afraid to speak, just watching. Others who have no fear because they know they are protected by their own screens, anonymous, and seemingly unreachable. Those are the ones who often prey on the rest, taking advantage of their naivity. Then there are those who come in, needing the conversation, just wanting to spend some time away from their own worries. They can share things online that perhaps their real lives don't allow them to share. It's an outlet... a very much needed one. There are angels in there, and devils, innocent bystanders, and souls with barely a thread of hope left, partiers, perverts, you name it. All in one place.. with different backgrounds and different agendas.
If you do not think about that when you go into a chat room you will be easy prey indeed. It takes time to get to know people, not a few hours, not a few days, not a few months... and when the people you are getting to know are 'behind' their monitors, you have to accept the fact that you are only really getting to know a few aspects of their whole personality. It's easy to be someone else. Very easy. Real life is so much harder.
Just keep that in mind if you are reading our blog and thinking you might like to find love online. It can happen. It DOES happen. A lot even. But don't think for a minute there is such a thing as 'love at first type'. It doesn't exist. You might find someone who shares your sense of humor, your level of compassion and intelligence, and perhaps not even be geographically challenged... but real love, will take a lot of dedication and certainty. That last bit, so important. The certainty. You gotta dig deep into your own feelings and refuse to ignore the warnings.
The most awesome thing you can do in a chatroom is to be open minded, friendly, forgiving, and realistic. Realize that people who visit chat rooms come in for a myriad of reasons and not everyone shares your point of view. Not everyone is looking for love.. or sex... or even simple fun. Some come in to vent, some come in to practice deception and to strike out at anyone for something that might have happened in their own lives. Just know that it's a place of many wonders.. it's highly (understatement of the year) addictive, and at times very dangerous.
Be careful... but don't be afraid to sit back and watch and learn and then contribute. You may be one of the lucky ones that goes in eyes wide open and manages to spot that rare and perfect diamond sitting there waiting just for you...
To close, let me just say this. I cannot believe how many people I have 'met' through that room. People who I think about on a daily basis, who are now a part of my life because I care about them, worry when they hurt, laugh with when they laugh, and long to hug in real life. You all know who you are, because I don't hold back hahahahahaha... right? I love you all, and feel so blessed to know you.
John, babe, you are my heart. I can't ever be apart from you now, my life is so in you, you have permeated my soul and remind me every day what true love is supposed to feel like - livin' it and lovin' it.
I love you John.
Christine aka Buttercup
XOXOXOXOXOX
Thursday, July 14, 2005
At Last! ... Well OK, We're Not There Yet...
Funny how just when you think - At Last! ...something comes along to remind you that you haven't quite gotten there yet. The good news is that at least there is progress.
John (love of my life) has finally received his work authorization card and we did not have to drive the 6 hours to Memphis to get it! That truly is a blessing. We were so excited to have this phase finally coming together! But wait! Grrr... can't apply for the Social Security card until you have the work authorization card in hand and gee, wouldn't you know it, can't work until you have the social security number. Sighhhh...
Ok he has been so patient - he's a saint in that department I can tell ya! I don't know how he keeps his cool - most patient man on the planet I think. He watches me going around ranting and raving and panicking as those who know me well have seen me do many times... and yet, he manages to take me into his arms, hush me, and ensure me that everything will be alright. I feel so safe there. This man is transforming me into somebody I did not know I could be. This love container is sure to burst one of these days - can feel it welling up in me even now. Amazing the level of emotion we share.
Anyway, he has been volunteering his time, trying to make the days go by faster until he can work. He has had 3 interviews so far and has been offered all 3 jobs... they want him. But he has to have that damned social security number first. So he waits. Patiently. He even travelled the 3 miles to go down and donate blood after we saw an ad from the Red Cross saying how desperately they needed his blood type. He went in the rain, determined to do some good with his spare time. They turned him away. No social security number. Does that stink or what????? (holding back on the ranting and raving now)
I guess if you think about it, there are a lot of worse things people can go through... LOTS. I mean, all said, we have a love that I truly believe is something few will ever have and it saddens me to know that, but I think it's true. So few people are willing to honestly do what it takes to find that one person and then suffer whatever it takes to be with them. All that he's given away. All that he's left. The sacrifices we have both made in time, money, frustration and untold days and nights of absolute misery when we couldn't be together... all so worth it now.
Sometimes I just sit and look out the window at my office and think about how far we've come. It floors me. And how we forget when we are going about our daily things... laughin' together, cooking together, laying around in each others arms... yeah, it's a luxury, and we make the most of every minute we are together. We are very selfish with our time. We love friends that drop by, but often we steal glances each letting the other know that it would be so great to just run into the back and snuggle on the bed, watch a movie and fall asleep in each other's arms.
I love him.
When I think about how far we still have to go... well, it's getting easier to see the light now, I will admit that. We have to come up with a second car, insurance, financial restructuring (great way to say 'recover from a major financial loss'), and hopefully find a way to get a house and have a place so we can get the kids over from England at some point. We have lots of dreams to make come true and we are apparently determined enough to accomplish anything now. We are living proof.
Well Aaron, I promised you hon, I wrote.... sorry it took so long. Your dad just keeps me soooooooooooo occupied... lol... Love you, and your sisters, and will jump for joy when the day comes when I can finally tell you that in person while wrapping you up in a huge hug!
John, babe, my heart burns for you and I thank God everyday for bringing you to me and for waking up places in my soul that had gone to sleep in hopelessness.... you are what was always missing in my life and I will cherish you every day anew.
All my love,
Christine
XOXOXOXOXOX
aka Buttercup ;o)
John (love of my life) has finally received his work authorization card and we did not have to drive the 6 hours to Memphis to get it! That truly is a blessing. We were so excited to have this phase finally coming together! But wait! Grrr... can't apply for the Social Security card until you have the work authorization card in hand and gee, wouldn't you know it, can't work until you have the social security number. Sighhhh...
Ok he has been so patient - he's a saint in that department I can tell ya! I don't know how he keeps his cool - most patient man on the planet I think. He watches me going around ranting and raving and panicking as those who know me well have seen me do many times... and yet, he manages to take me into his arms, hush me, and ensure me that everything will be alright. I feel so safe there. This man is transforming me into somebody I did not know I could be. This love container is sure to burst one of these days - can feel it welling up in me even now. Amazing the level of emotion we share.
Anyway, he has been volunteering his time, trying to make the days go by faster until he can work. He has had 3 interviews so far and has been offered all 3 jobs... they want him. But he has to have that damned social security number first. So he waits. Patiently. He even travelled the 3 miles to go down and donate blood after we saw an ad from the Red Cross saying how desperately they needed his blood type. He went in the rain, determined to do some good with his spare time. They turned him away. No social security number. Does that stink or what????? (holding back on the ranting and raving now)
I guess if you think about it, there are a lot of worse things people can go through... LOTS. I mean, all said, we have a love that I truly believe is something few will ever have and it saddens me to know that, but I think it's true. So few people are willing to honestly do what it takes to find that one person and then suffer whatever it takes to be with them. All that he's given away. All that he's left. The sacrifices we have both made in time, money, frustration and untold days and nights of absolute misery when we couldn't be together... all so worth it now.
Sometimes I just sit and look out the window at my office and think about how far we've come. It floors me. And how we forget when we are going about our daily things... laughin' together, cooking together, laying around in each others arms... yeah, it's a luxury, and we make the most of every minute we are together. We are very selfish with our time. We love friends that drop by, but often we steal glances each letting the other know that it would be so great to just run into the back and snuggle on the bed, watch a movie and fall asleep in each other's arms.
I love him.
When I think about how far we still have to go... well, it's getting easier to see the light now, I will admit that. We have to come up with a second car, insurance, financial restructuring (great way to say 'recover from a major financial loss'), and hopefully find a way to get a house and have a place so we can get the kids over from England at some point. We have lots of dreams to make come true and we are apparently determined enough to accomplish anything now. We are living proof.
Well Aaron, I promised you hon, I wrote.... sorry it took so long. Your dad just keeps me soooooooooooo occupied... lol... Love you, and your sisters, and will jump for joy when the day comes when I can finally tell you that in person while wrapping you up in a huge hug!
John, babe, my heart burns for you and I thank God everyday for bringing you to me and for waking up places in my soul that had gone to sleep in hopelessness.... you are what was always missing in my life and I will cherish you every day anew.
All my love,
Christine
XOXOXOXOXOX
aka Buttercup ;o)
Sunday, July 10, 2005
The Ups and Downs
Well not been on for some time. The good news is I have my Employment card. Plus I have have been offered a job, as a car salesman. Looking forward to it. Never done it before. Always trying something new. The down to it all is to do with the paper work. Can't work now till I get my social security number. Just hope it will not take long.
Well like the heading says the ups and downs, just seem's everytime we think we are getting there, something pulls us right down again. We know we are getting closer and closer to what we want. Just would be wonderful to get a up without the down. God, wouldn't that be nice.
The other down is just knowing, how far away my kid's are. When you just want to hold them and let them know just how much you miss them. I know my son could do with me there right now, misses his dad. I was not just his dad, we are mates too, close mates. Plus knowing he is not happy, hurts me more than he knows. Times like this all you want to do is hold him and just let him know how much he is loved, to be there and just pick him up when he feels down.
I know all my kids know how much I miss them and love them. Plus all the mum's and dad's will know what I mean, when I say "If your kids are 1 or 61, they are still your babies. Me and Buttercup, would have all the kids in a shot if we could.
When you think of just how far me and Buttercup have come, after all we have to get over, all we are waiting for now is one slip of paper. That one bit of paper is all that is holding us up now, as soon as we get that, we can live our lives the way we want. One of our dreams is to have all the kids together for a few weeks, we are getting there and we WILL get there...............John
Well like the heading says the ups and downs, just seem's everytime we think we are getting there, something pulls us right down again. We know we are getting closer and closer to what we want. Just would be wonderful to get a up without the down. God, wouldn't that be nice.
The other down is just knowing, how far away my kid's are. When you just want to hold them and let them know just how much you miss them. I know my son could do with me there right now, misses his dad. I was not just his dad, we are mates too, close mates. Plus knowing he is not happy, hurts me more than he knows. Times like this all you want to do is hold him and just let him know how much he is loved, to be there and just pick him up when he feels down.
I know all my kids know how much I miss them and love them. Plus all the mum's and dad's will know what I mean, when I say "If your kids are 1 or 61, they are still your babies. Me and Buttercup, would have all the kids in a shot if we could.
When you think of just how far me and Buttercup have come, after all we have to get over, all we are waiting for now is one slip of paper. That one bit of paper is all that is holding us up now, as soon as we get that, we can live our lives the way we want. One of our dreams is to have all the kids together for a few weeks, we are getting there and we WILL get there...............John
Wednesday, May 25, 2005
Stronger and Stronger
Well have not done a post for a bit. Have been busy, trying to work out a few things, to get what Buttercup and I want, seems to get harder and harder. Money is the big one, didn't think is was going to take this long, to get the papers so I could work, this puts a lot on to Buttercup. I can't leave the USA, plus I can't work without the papers. Yet people just seem to take their time, with what we need. The USA, will let some people work over here without the right papers and do nothing about it. There are people here working, driving and living without all the right papers, even killing and nothing is done, yet to try to do it the right way, all they do is mess you about and take their time with the paper work.
The USA government are just like any other government, laid back and tell you all the things you have to do and when they want them done by, then just leave you waiting, there is nothing you can do, to make it go faster.
The one thing is, the love Buttercup and I have just gets stronger and stronger. We try to take every day as it comes. I know the government try all they can to put you off, trying to make sure that what you have is true, not just doing it to get into the USA. I also know that a lot of things changed after 9/11, which it did all over the world, more in the USA and England. I was in the first Gulf war. You think that it would make it a bit easier, well no it does not. I just don't understand how someone can get in the USA without papers, work and live for years and never get found out. The USA government knows it is going on and do nothing about it, it's as if some people in the USA want it, lower wages and all that. Then when you try to do it all the right way, its like they say "ok, now we have all the paperwork off you and you have done all we have asked you to do, just go over in than corner and we will call you" what they don't tell you is just how long they are going to leave you waiting.
Well I just know that the love Buttercup and I have will get us over all this. When we do, we can live the life we both want, all that we are going though, will just makes us stonger and stronger, nothing will pull us apart, whatever they do. We will grow old with each other and be loved and be happy :)))))))))))))).........John
The USA government are just like any other government, laid back and tell you all the things you have to do and when they want them done by, then just leave you waiting, there is nothing you can do, to make it go faster.
The one thing is, the love Buttercup and I have just gets stronger and stronger. We try to take every day as it comes. I know the government try all they can to put you off, trying to make sure that what you have is true, not just doing it to get into the USA. I also know that a lot of things changed after 9/11, which it did all over the world, more in the USA and England. I was in the first Gulf war. You think that it would make it a bit easier, well no it does not. I just don't understand how someone can get in the USA without papers, work and live for years and never get found out. The USA government knows it is going on and do nothing about it, it's as if some people in the USA want it, lower wages and all that. Then when you try to do it all the right way, its like they say "ok, now we have all the paperwork off you and you have done all we have asked you to do, just go over in than corner and we will call you" what they don't tell you is just how long they are going to leave you waiting.
Well I just know that the love Buttercup and I have will get us over all this. When we do, we can live the life we both want, all that we are going though, will just makes us stonger and stronger, nothing will pull us apart, whatever they do. We will grow old with each other and be loved and be happy :)))))))))))))).........John
Tuesday, May 17, 2005
A Book
Well sat here, thinking if we could make all this into a book. Not that I am very good at writing, then the spellings, well think Buttercup will get me over that hurdle. Plus where would we start it? I just know what we have is so very special in every way and think it would be nice to share it, we have had to get over so many things and still have a few left to get over.
When I think of the times before I met her, how down I would be, how inside me I knew something was missing, oh I did what everyone does at the time, telling myself" things will get better" but as we know they never did. Plus how did I know they would get worse and they did, when I think of how low I got. Then after the very first time I talked to Buttercup online, I knew from then on, she was the one. Its no good asking me how I knew, I just did. She was my soul mate and I knew it, the fact she lived in the USA and I was in England, was not going to stop me, letting her know, just want she meant to me. I knew there was going to be lots of ups and downs, oh yes I know I could have got hurt, plus I know I was going to have to leave my kids behind. That is one hurdle that was going to hurt, I miss them every day, the hugs and loving, but I know deep down I am where I belong, plus I know my kids know that too and they are happy for me.
So how do you put all your feelings in to words? so it makes a book. I think it would make a great book, as its real life, none of it is made up, if you have looked at any of the other things we have written, you can see its from the heart. I just want the world to see, just how much in love we are, plus to give others hope.
Even now trying to think of how to put this into a book, just looking at my wedding ring, she's my wife, God, she's my wife. how happy that makes me feel, now how do I put that into words? Plus how to put into words how she makes me feel from the moment I get up to the moment I go to bed, how cuddling or just holding hands, how it just all fits, like we made for each other. Like how when we are cuddling, just never want it to stop, just want to spend my life cuddling Buttercup, when we cuddle, its as if the hole world is right. When I am with Buttercup my whole world is safe, I have someone that's loves me in every way I love her and more.
Well now you all know that we are thinking of making it into a book.......John
When I think of the times before I met her, how down I would be, how inside me I knew something was missing, oh I did what everyone does at the time, telling myself" things will get better" but as we know they never did. Plus how did I know they would get worse and they did, when I think of how low I got. Then after the very first time I talked to Buttercup online, I knew from then on, she was the one. Its no good asking me how I knew, I just did. She was my soul mate and I knew it, the fact she lived in the USA and I was in England, was not going to stop me, letting her know, just want she meant to me. I knew there was going to be lots of ups and downs, oh yes I know I could have got hurt, plus I know I was going to have to leave my kids behind. That is one hurdle that was going to hurt, I miss them every day, the hugs and loving, but I know deep down I am where I belong, plus I know my kids know that too and they are happy for me.
So how do you put all your feelings in to words? so it makes a book. I think it would make a great book, as its real life, none of it is made up, if you have looked at any of the other things we have written, you can see its from the heart. I just want the world to see, just how much in love we are, plus to give others hope.
Even now trying to think of how to put this into a book, just looking at my wedding ring, she's my wife, God, she's my wife. how happy that makes me feel, now how do I put that into words? Plus how to put into words how she makes me feel from the moment I get up to the moment I go to bed, how cuddling or just holding hands, how it just all fits, like we made for each other. Like how when we are cuddling, just never want it to stop, just want to spend my life cuddling Buttercup, when we cuddle, its as if the hole world is right. When I am with Buttercup my whole world is safe, I have someone that's loves me in every way I love her and more.
Well now you all know that we are thinking of making it into a book.......John
Thursday, May 12, 2005
Amazed at the Feedback
I gotta tell ya... I am amazed. Now I was expecting some feedback. I was expecting positive stuff mixed in with a lot of negative, but man oh man, I had no idea what a response we would get from blogging our lives and what we are going through having met online.
The outpouring of support is truly inspiring. Times can be so hard for us and most of it stems from the very fact that we DID meet online. The part about coming from different countries is hard enough, but it's the criticism that we sometimes get in the 'real world' (and I use that term loosely) that really wears us down. It appears that people who have spent any time online at all can appreciate the dynamics of the 'online world' and recognize the real accomplishments we have made.
Bottom line - I am tickled pink. I never really knew how many people would wish us well and take the time to comment or leave a message for us in our guestbook. It just amazes me. So much bad in the world and then you get this humongous ray of sunshine that comes from a place that so many who don't understand it call dark and dangerous. The fools. I won't go into that right now, but I love to argue with someone who calls the internet evil. lol...
John and I are still struggling, but we are being carried on the wings of those who care enough to recognize our struggles, sympathize with us, cheer us on, and take our message to others who don't believe that what we have is truly possible.
John, I love you babe, and I believe what we have will stand the test of time. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Buttercup
The outpouring of support is truly inspiring. Times can be so hard for us and most of it stems from the very fact that we DID meet online. The part about coming from different countries is hard enough, but it's the criticism that we sometimes get in the 'real world' (and I use that term loosely) that really wears us down. It appears that people who have spent any time online at all can appreciate the dynamics of the 'online world' and recognize the real accomplishments we have made.
Bottom line - I am tickled pink. I never really knew how many people would wish us well and take the time to comment or leave a message for us in our guestbook. It just amazes me. So much bad in the world and then you get this humongous ray of sunshine that comes from a place that so many who don't understand it call dark and dangerous. The fools. I won't go into that right now, but I love to argue with someone who calls the internet evil. lol...
John and I are still struggling, but we are being carried on the wings of those who care enough to recognize our struggles, sympathize with us, cheer us on, and take our message to others who don't believe that what we have is truly possible.
John, I love you babe, and I believe what we have will stand the test of time. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Buttercup
Sunday, May 08, 2005
There is always hope
This is to the ones that think there is nothing out there. I have been there, thinking I was a failure, that I was going to grow old on my own. The times I sat there thinking who would want me, why would anyone want me? Plus I have seen people thinking everyone they meet is the one. The one thing I have found out about love is it finds YOU. Thats the beautiful thing about love, it creeps up on you and covers you. I do wish everyone in the world could find real love, but the world is not that fair.
As we all know finding Mr or Mrs Right is hard. I also think that many of us have given someone all the love, only to find out it was all one way. I think that is one thing that people never forget. The being taken in and the hurt. ( just laughing here, song just came on, one of mine and Buttercup's song Inside out, hahahahahahaha)
The thing is with on line, which Buttercup has said in one of her blogs "you can be who ever you want and no one knows" That is so truth. Going on line to find someone, is not a good thing to do, I'm not saying it a bad thing to go on line, just be careful. I think to find a relationship on line is very hard thing to do. When you think that they could be on the other side of the world, you can't just get on a bus to go and see them, I should know.
I think a lot of people try to hard to find love, just let it find you. You never know where it going to come from, it could be someone down the street, someone at work or someone on the other side of the world, may even be someone you all ready know. What you do have to do is love yourself first, once you love you, then you have a chance of someone else loving you. The best thing is not to rush anything, just take every day as it comes. If you do meet someone or start to talk to someone, just take your time, get to know them, the real them, the worst thing you can do, is think its Mr or Mrs right. A lot of people go on line to get away from the world they are in, plus a lot of people are not who they seem, never forget that. Just remember when you meet someone on line its not like meeting someone in a bar.
The big thing you after remember is you are not alone, millions of people are in the same boat as you, sometimes one or two of us get thrown a life jacket, without any holes in it, well Buttercup is my life jacket. She pulled me up and covers me with love, a love I didn't know could be real. I'm sure there is someone out there for everyone, we just have to learn to take our time, just look at how many things we miss in life when we rush. Like I have said "if you want someone to love you, you after love you first" Just never give up on hope.........John
As we all know finding Mr or Mrs Right is hard. I also think that many of us have given someone all the love, only to find out it was all one way. I think that is one thing that people never forget. The being taken in and the hurt. ( just laughing here, song just came on, one of mine and Buttercup's song Inside out, hahahahahahaha)
The thing is with on line, which Buttercup has said in one of her blogs "you can be who ever you want and no one knows" That is so truth. Going on line to find someone, is not a good thing to do, I'm not saying it a bad thing to go on line, just be careful. I think to find a relationship on line is very hard thing to do. When you think that they could be on the other side of the world, you can't just get on a bus to go and see them, I should know.
I think a lot of people try to hard to find love, just let it find you. You never know where it going to come from, it could be someone down the street, someone at work or someone on the other side of the world, may even be someone you all ready know. What you do have to do is love yourself first, once you love you, then you have a chance of someone else loving you. The best thing is not to rush anything, just take every day as it comes. If you do meet someone or start to talk to someone, just take your time, get to know them, the real them, the worst thing you can do, is think its Mr or Mrs right. A lot of people go on line to get away from the world they are in, plus a lot of people are not who they seem, never forget that. Just remember when you meet someone on line its not like meeting someone in a bar.
The big thing you after remember is you are not alone, millions of people are in the same boat as you, sometimes one or two of us get thrown a life jacket, without any holes in it, well Buttercup is my life jacket. She pulled me up and covers me with love, a love I didn't know could be real. I'm sure there is someone out there for everyone, we just have to learn to take our time, just look at how many things we miss in life when we rush. Like I have said "if you want someone to love you, you after love you first" Just never give up on hope.........John
Thursday, May 05, 2005
44 Today!
Well as you can see from the heading, its my birthday today. The day has got off to a great start, as Buttercup`s first day at her new job. The day has been great so far, Buttercup was leaving me cards all over the place, messages on MSN and yahoo. The best thing of all was waking up and being kissed by her, that made my day. Just to think of how far we have come, still have a lot to do.
The last week or so, me and Buttercup have had so much time with each other, got to a point last night, we need something from the shop. Buttercup was going to go on her own, we just looked at each other and we both went, hahahahahahaha. The more time we have with each other, the more time we want, we can't get enough.
I know people will think. People will say "well you two are in your first years" or "its all new" All I can say to that is this is real love. Its more than that, it's knowing you have your soul mate. When I think of how many things we have had to get over, the hurt we have had, its not been easy for us. We just never give up on what we have, even at times in the beginning. When we both thought it couldn't work or we couldn't love each other that much. We always came back to each other. When I think of the times I was back in England, I never at any time gave up on us.
I think the guys will know what I mean when I say this "now I am with Buttercup, I never think of looking at another woman. She's never off my mind at any time. I feel complete. She was the missing link in my life." Just hope that sounds the way it was meant.
What I am trying to say is "that she is my dream woman, my life and my soul, my mind and heart and soul are at peace, they are where they belong and that's with Buttercup" God I am in love with Buttercup more than anyone can dream of, Buttercup to you, I love you more than words can say, but I will every day try to show you and try to make every day a special one............... John xxxxxx
The last week or so, me and Buttercup have had so much time with each other, got to a point last night, we need something from the shop. Buttercup was going to go on her own, we just looked at each other and we both went, hahahahahahaha. The more time we have with each other, the more time we want, we can't get enough.
I know people will think. People will say "well you two are in your first years" or "its all new" All I can say to that is this is real love. Its more than that, it's knowing you have your soul mate. When I think of how many things we have had to get over, the hurt we have had, its not been easy for us. We just never give up on what we have, even at times in the beginning. When we both thought it couldn't work or we couldn't love each other that much. We always came back to each other. When I think of the times I was back in England, I never at any time gave up on us.
I think the guys will know what I mean when I say this "now I am with Buttercup, I never think of looking at another woman. She's never off my mind at any time. I feel complete. She was the missing link in my life." Just hope that sounds the way it was meant.
What I am trying to say is "that she is my dream woman, my life and my soul, my mind and heart and soul are at peace, they are where they belong and that's with Buttercup" God I am in love with Buttercup more than anyone can dream of, Buttercup to you, I love you more than words can say, but I will every day try to show you and try to make every day a special one............... John xxxxxx
Tuesday, April 19, 2005
Progress IS being made... One Step At A Time!
Well, time is moving along and while it's still a waiting game, we ARE making progress!
John is working on getting established through soccer, driving, and getting to know his new neighbors...
We are still waiting for news on the work permit, and all sorts of other paperwork, but it'll happen!
While we wait, we are learning about selling on E-Bay, making our home perfect for the kids, looking forward to visits from England, and well, just taking advantage of every minute we have together.
We've made lots of friends and are constantly amazed at the others we have met here locally who have either met someone online or know someone close to them who is another example of online success! A very positive and encouraging thing.
It's been a while since I've written, but then, when you are having so much fun just living your life, it's hard to stop and sit long enough to do this... but I'll try to get better at it. I think it's important to let others know that life can come to you in so many incredible ways, and for us, this has been the life we have always wanted... He's what I've always wanted and when we are finally all settled in (does that ever really happen???) I know we will look back on these days and just smile... well, we'll fall down laughing and end up...oh hahahaha.... never mind....
Keep the faith...
Loving him,
Buttercup
John is working on getting established through soccer, driving, and getting to know his new neighbors...
We are still waiting for news on the work permit, and all sorts of other paperwork, but it'll happen!
While we wait, we are learning about selling on E-Bay, making our home perfect for the kids, looking forward to visits from England, and well, just taking advantage of every minute we have together.
We've made lots of friends and are constantly amazed at the others we have met here locally who have either met someone online or know someone close to them who is another example of online success! A very positive and encouraging thing.
It's been a while since I've written, but then, when you are having so much fun just living your life, it's hard to stop and sit long enough to do this... but I'll try to get better at it. I think it's important to let others know that life can come to you in so many incredible ways, and for us, this has been the life we have always wanted... He's what I've always wanted and when we are finally all settled in (does that ever really happen???) I know we will look back on these days and just smile... well, we'll fall down laughing and end up...oh hahahaha.... never mind....
Keep the faith...
Loving him,
Buttercup
A New Emblem for England?
Joseph and his Valentine Dog, of course there is also the newest addition to my car...lol...
We got this at the mall, the license plate that is... lol...
Now it sits at the back of my car... and in the window... alongside his white cowboy hat and my red one...
We are working on getting everything changed over to my new name now... gotta love it. So many things to do, always busy here. I guess that's a good thing.
Spring has sprung and the weather is allowing us to enjoy the beauty of this part of the country... I have the sunburned arms to prove it!
Between soccer games, walks in the park, just driving around.. it's all good.
Livin' and lovin' it...
Buttercup
Sunday, April 10, 2005
Feelings
I am sat here on a hot summer's day, birds singing, Buttercup working away on her pc, feeling just so happy. When I just think of how happy I am, the times I had dreamt of being like this. Beinging loved in a way I never knew, always thinking it only happened in the films.
I think we all think that until it happens to us, god and when it does, the feelings are just so wonderful. All through life men and women have tried to write books or songs or make films, trying to show us all about being in love. When you read the books or hear the songs or see the films, we all think why can't that happen to me. I know most people want just to be happy, don't we all. I know men want to be the knight on the white horse or be the hero, thats life. thats why we like the songs, books and films. They all put us in a world that we dream about, it takes you away from the normal way of life, you are the guy in the film or the woman.
Well I am a very very romantic person, we have all been there, the romantic meals, low lights, the music in the background. Then again how many times have you done all that, then thought whats the point? Then in the end you just give up, back to the normal boring way of life.
Well now I am one of those people who does not dream about being with my soulmate, my true love. The reason is, I found her and am with her. She's everything I have ever wanted, She's just everything. My feelings for her are just so true, my heart has always been her's.
I can put my hand on my heart and say I am in love with my soulmate and she's my wife. Even my kids can see and hear it in my voice just how happy I am. I think that's the feeling you get when you find your love, you can't put it into words or a book or on a film. They are just there inside you and you both have them, that's why you don't need the dreams anymore... plus every moment with them is romantic, that's always there...........John
I think we all think that until it happens to us, god and when it does, the feelings are just so wonderful. All through life men and women have tried to write books or songs or make films, trying to show us all about being in love. When you read the books or hear the songs or see the films, we all think why can't that happen to me. I know most people want just to be happy, don't we all. I know men want to be the knight on the white horse or be the hero, thats life. thats why we like the songs, books and films. They all put us in a world that we dream about, it takes you away from the normal way of life, you are the guy in the film or the woman.
Well I am a very very romantic person, we have all been there, the romantic meals, low lights, the music in the background. Then again how many times have you done all that, then thought whats the point? Then in the end you just give up, back to the normal boring way of life.
Well now I am one of those people who does not dream about being with my soulmate, my true love. The reason is, I found her and am with her. She's everything I have ever wanted, She's just everything. My feelings for her are just so true, my heart has always been her's.
I can put my hand on my heart and say I am in love with my soulmate and she's my wife. Even my kids can see and hear it in my voice just how happy I am. I think that's the feeling you get when you find your love, you can't put it into words or a book or on a film. They are just there inside you and you both have them, that's why you don't need the dreams anymore... plus every moment with them is romantic, that's always there...........John
Tuesday, April 05, 2005
Dreams
I just wanted to let people out there, who think that they are alone and think that there is nothing out there for them, may even think that they will never find love. Well you are not alone and never give up on finding love. There are millions of people who think the same way. I was one of those people, oh I have been there, looking at myself, thinking who would want this. Before that I was married, doing what a lot of people do, just going along with life, doing the normal everyday things. When it all ended, it was upsetting, but at the same time was a relief, I didn't have to go along with things I didn't like anymore. I could do what I wanted to do, buy things I wanted, go and do what ever I wanted.
I got to that much of a low, I was drinking a lot and I mean way to much. Working and looking after my kids and drinking whenever I was alone. Thinking life was the pits, looking at myself, thinking this is what my life has come to. Oh I have been there crying, feeling sorry for myself, no light at the end of the tunnel. Was at that much of a low, don't think at one time I would still be here. I know it gets bad, at times would look around and think what's it all for, there as to be more to life than this. Plus everyone else would have the luck, but never me, everyone else was better off than me. Yes like most people all I wanted was to be with the love of my life. To hold her, laugh and smile, just to be happy, you all know what I mean. The thing was I didn't know who the love of my life was, she was just in my head.
Then when I did find her, just my luck, she was 3500 miles away. Then that's when it all hit me, oh I could feel sorry for myself and just walk away. Just let her go and get on with life, thinking of what may have been. Yes all my friends told me I was mad, people told me I was out of my mind, some even told me I needed to grow up. What they didn't understand, don't even think she did at first, she was everything to me.
Thats when life started for me, when she came into my life. I saw the world and everything in it in a different light. I didn't care or want anything in life as much as I wanted her. So I had to think, do I do what everyone tells me or do I go with my feelings?
Well it was not hard to think about. For the first time in my life this was what I wanted. This was the love of my life. Nothing was going to stop me from showing her just how much she meant to me. Oh I had to take the risk, she may not love me, but nothing was going to stop me, she had to know how much I loved her and wanted to be with her.
Now we are man and wife. What I am trying to say is don't give up. Hope is always there and never ever give up on your dreams. There is someone out there for us all. Plus you never know when you will find it. It took me 43 years to find my soulmate, the love of my life. One day all our dreams come true, we just never know when.......John
I got to that much of a low, I was drinking a lot and I mean way to much. Working and looking after my kids and drinking whenever I was alone. Thinking life was the pits, looking at myself, thinking this is what my life has come to. Oh I have been there crying, feeling sorry for myself, no light at the end of the tunnel. Was at that much of a low, don't think at one time I would still be here. I know it gets bad, at times would look around and think what's it all for, there as to be more to life than this. Plus everyone else would have the luck, but never me, everyone else was better off than me. Yes like most people all I wanted was to be with the love of my life. To hold her, laugh and smile, just to be happy, you all know what I mean. The thing was I didn't know who the love of my life was, she was just in my head.
Then when I did find her, just my luck, she was 3500 miles away. Then that's when it all hit me, oh I could feel sorry for myself and just walk away. Just let her go and get on with life, thinking of what may have been. Yes all my friends told me I was mad, people told me I was out of my mind, some even told me I needed to grow up. What they didn't understand, don't even think she did at first, she was everything to me.
Thats when life started for me, when she came into my life. I saw the world and everything in it in a different light. I didn't care or want anything in life as much as I wanted her. So I had to think, do I do what everyone tells me or do I go with my feelings?
Well it was not hard to think about. For the first time in my life this was what I wanted. This was the love of my life. Nothing was going to stop me from showing her just how much she meant to me. Oh I had to take the risk, she may not love me, but nothing was going to stop me, she had to know how much I loved her and wanted to be with her.
Now we are man and wife. What I am trying to say is don't give up. Hope is always there and never ever give up on your dreams. There is someone out there for us all. Plus you never know when you will find it. It took me 43 years to find my soulmate, the love of my life. One day all our dreams come true, we just never know when.......John
Thursday, March 31, 2005
Not Going your Way
Some times, things don't always go your way, then you start to think, what else can I be doing or am I doing all I can? When you just want some good news, any news, even when you put the TV on and see the news. People are killing each other or kids are being killed or people are wanting other people to just die, what a mad world we live in at times.
Sometimes when you look at life and things are not going your way, I think we should all take a step back. Sometimes it's not because of you or its your fault. Sometimes it's because we may have to wait for others and no matter what you do, we can never change that. Some people may think they are weak or failing others in some way, may even think that they are being selfish or not strong enough. Maybe when we get that way, we should think of where we were and how far we have come.
Some people will say "that's life." Some will say "it's a test" some will even say "it's Gods will." I myself think it has to do with what you believe, as long as you don't let go of what you believe in, then you have every chance of being happy. Plus I think real love is one of the hardest things to find in life. If you have that, you have more than most. When things are not going your way, I think a lot of people forget what they have, we should all be happy for what we have.
When I am down and things are not going my way, I think of just how lucky I am to have someone as wonderful as Buttercup. I think of the times she was not in my life or the times when we were apart. Then I think of just how lucky I am to be with her and to know she is my wife. God how good and proud that makes me feel.
I know at times life can seem unfair for most of us, things go wrong or someone lets you down or there is not enough time. You can make all the best plans in the world. Life is not that easy. We all have to fight for what we believe in. No one is going to put it on a plate for anyone. So if you ever feel life is not going right for you, just take that step back, think of all the people that love you. And before someone says it to themself, those words we have all said "who loves me, who cares about me?"... Well let me tell you, someone loves you, even if you think there is no one, someone out there loves you, just never give up hope. When you do find them never let go and never give up ever............John
Sometimes when you look at life and things are not going your way, I think we should all take a step back. Sometimes it's not because of you or its your fault. Sometimes it's because we may have to wait for others and no matter what you do, we can never change that. Some people may think they are weak or failing others in some way, may even think that they are being selfish or not strong enough. Maybe when we get that way, we should think of where we were and how far we have come.
Some people will say "that's life." Some will say "it's a test" some will even say "it's Gods will." I myself think it has to do with what you believe, as long as you don't let go of what you believe in, then you have every chance of being happy. Plus I think real love is one of the hardest things to find in life. If you have that, you have more than most. When things are not going your way, I think a lot of people forget what they have, we should all be happy for what we have.
When I am down and things are not going my way, I think of just how lucky I am to have someone as wonderful as Buttercup. I think of the times she was not in my life or the times when we were apart. Then I think of just how lucky I am to be with her and to know she is my wife. God how good and proud that makes me feel.
I know at times life can seem unfair for most of us, things go wrong or someone lets you down or there is not enough time. You can make all the best plans in the world. Life is not that easy. We all have to fight for what we believe in. No one is going to put it on a plate for anyone. So if you ever feel life is not going right for you, just take that step back, think of all the people that love you. And before someone says it to themself, those words we have all said "who loves me, who cares about me?"... Well let me tell you, someone loves you, even if you think there is no one, someone out there loves you, just never give up hope. When you do find them never let go and never give up ever............John
Saturday, March 26, 2005
Just Loving You Buttercup
When I think of just how much I love you, at times it's just so overwhelming. Just the way you make me feel inside, so warm and safe, just so happy. Just loving you is so easy, it's not something I have to try and do, its just there insde me. The way I feel when I am not with you, just feel so sad and cold, as if part of me is missing. I know, just how I felt when you were not in my life and I never want to go there again.
Sometimes I feel as if it is a dream, as how can something as wonderful as this happen to me. You are just one in a millon, I just can't help myself at times, just have to touch you, have to keep looking at you, just to make sure I am not dreaming. When I look at you and see the beauty that is in you, as well as the beauty you are on the outside too. I never knew what love was until I met you, love is just such a small word, when I try to think of how much i love you.
When I wake up and see you next to me, my heart just lights up, just like the sun shining on a hot day. When you open your eyes and smile. the warmth that comes over, is just so hot. When you touch me, it feels like a warm breeze that covers my whole body. When you kiss me all the hairs on my body just stand up, my lips just want to never stop kissing you, the warmth of your kisses are just so sweet. Your smile just lights up my world, makes me feel so safe, it gives off such a loving feeling. I know the love we have is unconditional, no rules, just comes from the heart, my love for you is just so true. When I think of how happy it makes me to see your smile, to see you laugh, you just bring out the best of me. You are just so very very special in every way.............Just love you more than you will know, will just try to show you every day, just how much you mean to me..............John
Sometimes I feel as if it is a dream, as how can something as wonderful as this happen to me. You are just one in a millon, I just can't help myself at times, just have to touch you, have to keep looking at you, just to make sure I am not dreaming. When I look at you and see the beauty that is in you, as well as the beauty you are on the outside too. I never knew what love was until I met you, love is just such a small word, when I try to think of how much i love you.
When I wake up and see you next to me, my heart just lights up, just like the sun shining on a hot day. When you open your eyes and smile. the warmth that comes over, is just so hot. When you touch me, it feels like a warm breeze that covers my whole body. When you kiss me all the hairs on my body just stand up, my lips just want to never stop kissing you, the warmth of your kisses are just so sweet. Your smile just lights up my world, makes me feel so safe, it gives off such a loving feeling. I know the love we have is unconditional, no rules, just comes from the heart, my love for you is just so true. When I think of how happy it makes me to see your smile, to see you laugh, you just bring out the best of me. You are just so very very special in every way.............Just love you more than you will know, will just try to show you every day, just how much you mean to me..............John
Wednesday, March 23, 2005
Waiting And More Waiting
Just sat here thinking about all the waiting, we have to do. All because people who we are waiting for, well it's just their job, so what is the rush? It's not their lives, its just makes you so mad. When you phone to check, all you get is, well we are doing all we can, but they don't see that, that bit of paper is your life or can save you a lot of money. People that are doing that kind of job, should know, just how important their job is, plus that they have people's lives in there hands.
Just like me, phone England to get some papers, then told to phone Scotland, then they tell me it will take 20 to 30 days, makes you think what the hell they are doing with them. We all call buses, planes and trains for being late, good job the people in the government don't run them, what a mess that would be. When you think today the governments of the USA, Canada and Mexico are talking about letting the rules on border crossing, to make it easier to go from one to the other, so you can work in the USA, but live in Mexico. When I was in the first Gulf War, fighting a long side the USA, and all we do is just get messed about. Plus when I think of the people that live in the USA and they can't even speak English, just makes you think, what you have to do.
Well I just know that me and Buttercup will do what ever it takes, we will not be put off by people who just try to put us off. We know we still have a lot to come and more, much more messing about from people who just sit in a chair. Plus by all the government rules, well rules for some and not for others.......John
Just like me, phone England to get some papers, then told to phone Scotland, then they tell me it will take 20 to 30 days, makes you think what the hell they are doing with them. We all call buses, planes and trains for being late, good job the people in the government don't run them, what a mess that would be. When you think today the governments of the USA, Canada and Mexico are talking about letting the rules on border crossing, to make it easier to go from one to the other, so you can work in the USA, but live in Mexico. When I was in the first Gulf War, fighting a long side the USA, and all we do is just get messed about. Plus when I think of the people that live in the USA and they can't even speak English, just makes you think, what you have to do.
Well I just know that me and Buttercup will do what ever it takes, we will not be put off by people who just try to put us off. We know we still have a lot to come and more, much more messing about from people who just sit in a chair. Plus by all the government rules, well rules for some and not for others.......John
Thursday, March 17, 2005
Nashville
Well we had a great time in Nashville, the first night we went to a blues bar, called Bourbon Street Blues, we had a good night there. The next day we went to a bar called Rippy's, we met some very nice people and had a great time. We then went on to BB Kings and met another new married couple, we had a wonderful time with them, bit too much to drink as well (hahahahahahahaha). The next day we went for a walk round to look at the sites and at night went to Blackstone brewery, very nice beer. We had a wonderful time in Nashville, just went a bit fast, but life always goes fast when you are happy or having a great time.
There was a time in the hotel room, when Buttercup was asleep, I was looking at her just laying there asleep with a smile on her face. Got me thinking of the things we have had to get over. Thinking of my times in England when I was not with her. Thinking of all the times we had talked on the phone or msn and e-mails, of the times I would be in England crying at times because I was not with her. Dreaming of this day. She's my wife. She's right there. I can touch her. (smiles, very very big Smiles).
I know some people will think we are the lucky ones. But what people forget is that it has not been easy. We have had a lot of upset and hard times to get where we are now, plus we still have some to come. The one thing is we never let go, we both know what we want.
When I think back to what we have had to get over. Some people may not believe what they have found, they may even try to run away from it, even break it all off, thinking it can't work. The one thing I know in my heart of hearts and my soul, is that me and Buttercup love each other. As I looked at her on the bed asleep, with the smile on her face, Just makes me so warm inside. I cant think of a time when I have been so loved and so happy in my life. When I see her and how beautiful she is, plus the kind of person she is, she's just so loving and caring, she goes out of her way to help others. Yes in a way I am lucky, to have someone as wonderful as her.
When I think of how I feel when I just see her, How all the hairs on my body just stand up when she touches me. How when I wake up and she's there next to me, God how good that makes me feel, she's my sunshine. I feel my heart banging and it never stop's, just sat here writing this now. My heart is banging so fast, I just want to hold her and kiss her. She makes me feel so special, so loved, so wanted. She makes me see the real me. She lets me be the real me. God how wonderful that feels. I know we still have some hard times coming up, running around and papers to do, But we both know in the end, we will have the life we have always wanted.....John
There was a time in the hotel room, when Buttercup was asleep, I was looking at her just laying there asleep with a smile on her face. Got me thinking of the things we have had to get over. Thinking of my times in England when I was not with her. Thinking of all the times we had talked on the phone or msn and e-mails, of the times I would be in England crying at times because I was not with her. Dreaming of this day. She's my wife. She's right there. I can touch her. (smiles, very very big Smiles).
I know some people will think we are the lucky ones. But what people forget is that it has not been easy. We have had a lot of upset and hard times to get where we are now, plus we still have some to come. The one thing is we never let go, we both know what we want.
When I think back to what we have had to get over. Some people may not believe what they have found, they may even try to run away from it, even break it all off, thinking it can't work. The one thing I know in my heart of hearts and my soul, is that me and Buttercup love each other. As I looked at her on the bed asleep, with the smile on her face, Just makes me so warm inside. I cant think of a time when I have been so loved and so happy in my life. When I see her and how beautiful she is, plus the kind of person she is, she's just so loving and caring, she goes out of her way to help others. Yes in a way I am lucky, to have someone as wonderful as her.
When I think of how I feel when I just see her, How all the hairs on my body just stand up when she touches me. How when I wake up and she's there next to me, God how good that makes me feel, she's my sunshine. I feel my heart banging and it never stop's, just sat here writing this now. My heart is banging so fast, I just want to hold her and kiss her. She makes me feel so special, so loved, so wanted. She makes me see the real me. She lets me be the real me. God how wonderful that feels. I know we still have some hard times coming up, running around and papers to do, But we both know in the end, we will have the life we have always wanted.....John
Friday, March 11, 2005
A Poem for Buttercup
I knew from day one, I wanted you as my wife.
The love I had and still have, was just too strong
The feelings you gave me, will stay in my heart forever
The more we talked, the more I loved you, need to be with you
The first time I seen your beauty
Your long dark hair, your big brown eyes,
ohhhhhh yes i fell off my chair
IS ALL THIS A DREAM?
Then the day we met
You were better than your picture
To feel you, touch you, hold and cuddle you
To kiss your soft, soft lips and hold your hand
And i nearly knock you down
IS ALL THIS A DREAM?
Then time came to pass
Then you said I do
You are beautiful
Now you are my wife
IS ALL THIS A DREAM?
Well we are man and wife
We are going to walk together hand in hand
We are going smile and laugh side by side
NO THIS IS NOT A DREAM
BUTTERCUP, I LOVE YOU
The love I had and still have, was just too strong
The feelings you gave me, will stay in my heart forever
The more we talked, the more I loved you, need to be with you
The first time I seen your beauty
Your long dark hair, your big brown eyes,
ohhhhhh yes i fell off my chair
IS ALL THIS A DREAM?
Then the day we met
You were better than your picture
To feel you, touch you, hold and cuddle you
To kiss your soft, soft lips and hold your hand
And i nearly knock you down
IS ALL THIS A DREAM?
Then time came to pass
Then you said I do
You are beautiful
Now you are my wife
IS ALL THIS A DREAM?
Well we are man and wife
We are going to walk together hand in hand
We are going smile and laugh side by side
NO THIS IS NOT A DREAM
BUTTERCUP, I LOVE YOU
Going Away
Well this is some time for me and Buttercup, to go away on our honeymoon, we have been married 5 days now (smilessssssss). we are going to Nashville for 4 days.
The last 4 days have been a bit of a run around. We had to see the the attorney this week, which I think went well, just my medical to do now and thats more money, then all the papers are sent off. Then its just sitting and waiting, as if we have not done enough of that. Until its time to do all the trips to here and there, just can't wait for all that, Buttercup will be happy. (sighs)
Well me and Buttercup the last 2 days have tried to relax, we have spent time just cuddling and staying in. we both have enjoyed it so much, as Buttercup said to me "no distractions, no pressure, just being able to relax, its was beautiful"
I know we have upset some people the way we got married, but they have to know, we didnt plan it. We just don't want ever to be apart again, plus the pressure it puts you under, sometime you don't know if you are doing right from wrong. We were trying to please every one and it just can't be done. So the next few days, we are going to get away from it all, just us. (smilesssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss)
Will do the next post when we get back. Buttercup what a 4 days we are going to have,I cant wait babe, wish you was not at work now, we could be on are way there. I love you, my wife xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx..........John
The last 4 days have been a bit of a run around. We had to see the the attorney this week, which I think went well, just my medical to do now and thats more money, then all the papers are sent off. Then its just sitting and waiting, as if we have not done enough of that. Until its time to do all the trips to here and there, just can't wait for all that, Buttercup will be happy. (sighs)
Well me and Buttercup the last 2 days have tried to relax, we have spent time just cuddling and staying in. we both have enjoyed it so much, as Buttercup said to me "no distractions, no pressure, just being able to relax, its was beautiful"
I know we have upset some people the way we got married, but they have to know, we didnt plan it. We just don't want ever to be apart again, plus the pressure it puts you under, sometime you don't know if you are doing right from wrong. We were trying to please every one and it just can't be done. So the next few days, we are going to get away from it all, just us. (smilesssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss)
Will do the next post when we get back. Buttercup what a 4 days we are going to have,I cant wait babe, wish you was not at work now, we could be on are way there. I love you, my wife xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx..........John
Wednesday, March 09, 2005
Can I say something here?
OK... this thing is so backwards... his post came before mine... yet this is listed first... go figure.
Read his first.. lol... it's next.
What I want to say is this...
I don't think I can possibly express the amazement that I feel when I read his posts and when we look at each other and say 'how is this possible?'
We have found something that most people wait all their lives to find. It is something so rare and elusive. Probably because we live our lives for what others tell us is right... what they tell us is 'doable'. That's so funny to me right now... as I sit here next to him with my heart so full of love.
Yes... I adore him. He is everything to me. He represents all to me that I dreamt of but never thought really possible. We have that thing that you see in the movies... that thing that seems too good to be true. Well you know what? It IS possible.
But what a battle to make it real. To actually get to a place where you can finally relax and think to yourself 'oh my God, it's real.'
We are there. We've made it to a place where we know we still have stuggles before us and yet we are confident that we will get through them. We are strong.
It takes a lot. A lot of faith, a lot of determination, a lot of confidence. Funny, that is something we both lacked until we met. But in taking that first step we found it.
Don't give up. It can be real. It IS possible.
John, I love you more than I have ever thought it was possible to love another human being and I cherish the day I said.... I do.
Buttercup
Read his first.. lol... it's next.
What I want to say is this...
I don't think I can possibly express the amazement that I feel when I read his posts and when we look at each other and say 'how is this possible?'
We have found something that most people wait all their lives to find. It is something so rare and elusive. Probably because we live our lives for what others tell us is right... what they tell us is 'doable'. That's so funny to me right now... as I sit here next to him with my heart so full of love.
Yes... I adore him. He is everything to me. He represents all to me that I dreamt of but never thought really possible. We have that thing that you see in the movies... that thing that seems too good to be true. Well you know what? It IS possible.
But what a battle to make it real. To actually get to a place where you can finally relax and think to yourself 'oh my God, it's real.'
We are there. We've made it to a place where we know we still have stuggles before us and yet we are confident that we will get through them. We are strong.
It takes a lot. A lot of faith, a lot of determination, a lot of confidence. Funny, that is something we both lacked until we met. But in taking that first step we found it.
Don't give up. It can be real. It IS possible.
John, I love you more than I have ever thought it was possible to love another human being and I cherish the day I said.... I do.
Buttercup
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